Hey boners!
I know, I know, where the fuck have I been and what’s up with stuff, right?
Well, the short of it is, The Wife and I just had a baby Canacorn about a month ago and I’ve been knida’ busy doing all sorts of new dad type stuff.
Which means not much time for dicking around on the internets or watching many movies…and certainly not much time for blogging.
I have been visiting my old haunts (see the links in yon sidebar)…but more as a lurker than a commenter…so don’t be offended if you haven’t heard from lil’ ol’ me as of late.
Click this pic to read about the worms that came out of this man's ass.
It’s called Bite ME With Dr. Mike!
Who’s Dr. Mike? Well, that’s the good doctor in the picture…the guy holding the handful of Giant Intestinal Roundworms that he just shit out of his ass….seriously…I saw him do it on the teevee.
So, this bat shit insane crazy man that claims to be a Dr. goes to Third World Countries and eats dirty food, drinks filthy water, and lets all sorts of bugs and animals chew on his flesh…all in the name of SCIENCE…or whatever.
Click this pic of Dr. Mike's back to read about bloodletting!
It’s truly fascinating….and Dr. Mike is so goddamn enthusiastic about getting leeches attached to his back and ass, drinking the “brown soup of excrement and industrial effluents” that is the Ganges River, and getting caught in the middle of a monkey gang fight, that the show has become a Casa Canacorn favorite after only one episode!
That’s right, you heard me…monkey gangs had a rumble and Dr. Mike was in a “drive by” biting.
You can’t make this shit up…
Oh, peep the teaser to the episode I saw:
Anyway, I just wanted to let you kids know that I’m alive and to hip y’all to crazy Dr. Mike and his amazing ass worms….
Canacorn out!*
*yeah, still trying to make that work….
July 8, 2009 at 11:39 am
At least you have a reason for slacking…for once.
I gotta be honest, your Keanuary feature nearly killed me.
As much as I dig Point Break, A Walk in The Clouds week was fucking internet death. as was Johnny Mnemonic Mondays.
Get it together man.
July 9, 2009 at 6:55 am
Glad you enjoyed it Stevie…unfortunately, I had to delete those posts do to a cease and desist email I received:
Dear depraves soulless asshole,
Re: Keanuary
This is an email request asking you to cease and desist in posting an entire month dedicated to the artistic merits of Keanu Reeves as stated above. It is our personal choice to tell you that your blog is nothing but garbage and is making the internet a cesspool of cum and shit not fit for human consumption.
Thus, we request you to cease your Keanuary feature immediately or face legal actions under the state/federal laws. I hope you would consider giving this email the attention it deserves or we will fire bomb your home and steal your new baby.
Yours truly,
The Internets
WTF, right?
So, no more Keanuary…ever…as I’m quite fond of my home and really attached to my son…just sayin’.
July 8, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I had a friend that went to Mexico back in the 80’s and got some kind of intestinal work. When he finally shitted out, he saw the head and fangs in his poo….
BTW, over at Meat is Myrtle, we’re going to do Septic-ember. All poop, all month!
July 9, 2009 at 6:37 am
I was thinking some sort of Mexican intestinal surgery was a bad fucking idea…
July 8, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Sorry, that should be “worm”, not “work”, although it IS work to poop out a worm.
July 9, 2009 at 6:38 am
…but now I see it was only a worm. Still gross. Thanks for sharing. Next time, more stories involving Steve’s GI tract, please.
July 9, 2009 at 6:58 am
Steve’s GI Tract: When he shits, it smells like clam chowder. And Boston Baked Beans!
July 9, 2009 at 7:15 am
My mom says that I am beautiful inside thank you.
I hope the internets does’nt have a problem with Sorbotember.
Kevin was a good Hercules. (You can say I said that if you do a Hercules Thursday or something.)
July 10, 2009 at 5:21 am
What is Keanuary?
Oh, and congrats, your horsie and mommy the stripper pics were used on mothmilk.
July 10, 2009 at 6:12 am
Keanuary is a (made up) month long series of posts I did (not really) last January extolling the acting prowess of The one and only, Keanu (pronounced /keˈɑːnuː/ [kay-AH-noo, often mispronounced as kee-AH-noo) Charles Reeves.
It was wildly unpopular…much like the totally real and totally despised, 31 day tribute to heavy metal and horror: ROCKTOBER!
I did that one last October. Click the link to watch my month long nervous breakdown.
Oh, just added mothmilk to my links…thanks!