There has been a severe lack of posting here at Awesomeness…and for that, I apologize.
There’s just not enough time in the day you know…and with school starting up at the end of August, there will be even less.
So to make myself feel better about even having a blog, I’m going to try and bring back Two For Tuesdays (again….I think we all remember how I failed miserably the last time)! But this time I’m gonna’ let the music do the talking…which is probably for the best since I know how much you guys hate to read…but hey, who am I to judge?
Okay, boners, I don’t have much time so I’m gonna’ make this quick…
Here’s a batch of soundtracks I’ve picked up over the past month:
I know, I know, you’re pretty sure I have absolutely no filter when it comes to my record purchases…and I have to admit, that might be true…especially when it comes to soundtracks…
So, what do we have here? VALLEY OF THE DOLLS, HISTORY OF THE WORLD PART I, 1941, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978), ERASERHEAD, BRIGHT LIGHTS BIG CITY, 9 TO 5, MEATBALLS, BAD GUYS, and ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN!
I’m not going to put up a video for each of them , but I will say the BRIGHT LIGHTS BIG CITY soundtrack has some killer 80s jams on it…like this one:
What? You thought I was give a fuck about my cred and play Love Attack by Konk?
Yeah, yeah, yeah…just because I got me one of them there baby Canacorns doesn’t mean I’m gonna’ stop buying records.
Cut a dad some slack…besides, most of ‘em were used AND I hear that, “all babies have an instinctive sense of rhythm and a love of music,” so I’m actually doing the kid a favor…or whatever.
That okay with you, Judgy McJudgerton?
Okay.
Now that that’s out of the way…let’s see some of the LPs I’ve picked up this month…it’s been a while since we’ve taken a look at my record purchases, so instead of jamming up this post with a shit-ton of pics and videos I’ve decided to spread them out over a few posts….
Let’s see…where to start?
I guess we’ll go with the ladies…starting left to right on the top row and then left to right on the bottom row…
Well, hello there, Irene Cara!
Sure, we all loved her as Coco Hernandez in Fame and everyone’s favorite karaoke song to sing is the Moroder/Cara classic, “Flashdance…What A Feeling“…but the secret hit off of this record is the awesome “Breakdance“!
Don’t believe me about the awesomeness that is “Breakdance“?
Peep this shit:
Next up are twin knockouts, Cherie and Marie Currie! These two foxes (see what I did there? Cherie was in the Adrian Lyne film…oh, forget it…) only did this one record together…and despite lukewarm (at best) reviews, I still dig it.
Especially the cover of Russ Ballard’s “Since You’ve Been Gone“:
Moving on…to the beautiful (and busty) Lynda Carter*! Here she is singing “Toto” on Wonder Woman from her 1978 album, Portrait:
*This link is for the Awesomeness reader whose idea of a “Rock N Roll Fantasy” involve an elaborately costumed Ms. Carter doing a medley of Tina Turner, KISS, and Bette Midler songs accompanied by the Ikettes, fruity KISS impersonators and dancing gorillas…which should be all of you.
So this next one is a little misleading…yes there are some super sultry 80s babes in buckskin/mesh Indian inspired dancewear on the cover…but this is all Bohannon all the time.
I’ve talked about the ass shaking power that is Bohannon before…and the BOHANNON FEVER LP is more of the same…so let’s get on this “Party Train” mothersuckers and get funky in our pants areas:
And the last record for today is STARGARD’s What You Waitin’ For! Look at that cover…the sheer audaciousness of their Danilo Donatiesque FLASH GORDON inspired outfits was worth the 99 cents I paid for this sucker alone.
It doesn’t hurt that their funky brand of R&B is pretty fucking awesome as well…but you’re just going to have to take my word for it since YouTube let me down in the video department.
So, that’s the tip of the LP iceberg today, kids. Tune in next time for a whole bunch of soundtracks…
Okay, since we’ll never get another episode of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT…I suggest that Mitchell Hurwitz should hit us up with a spin-off.
Anyone remember the Bill Bixby show from the early 70s called THE MAGICIAN?
Magic, bitches!
It was about a playboy magician that solved crimes…with magic! Pretty rad, right?
A trick is something a whore does for money...
Well, why not tweak that idea and make it a comedy with Will Arnett reprising his role as GOB as the crime busting illusionist?!
Imagine the hilarity…all the old gang could make cameos…The whole Bluth clan and especially The Hot Cops, Mr. Bananagrabber, and the lovable African-American puppet, Franklin!
I know, I know….I’m practically a fucking genius here….still not sold?
Okay, watch this old intro to THE MAGICIAN but imagine GOB as the titular character instead of Bill Bixby…
And then there was that time when John Larroquette wore a fake mustache and starred as Murray in the all Jewish production of Steinberg And Son in front of a live studio audience…
So, yesterday I was working on an upcoming post for THE ROOM Week (I know, I know, it’s not until May and you’re already sick of me talking about it) and I was getting all crazy Virgo about some minor details that I couldn’t figure out…so I turned to Bwana for some help.
I shot him a quick email since I was sure he must be some sort of expert on the details in question…I eventually figured it out on my own (with some help from The Wife) and emailed Bwana again to share the good news.
When he emailed me back he expressed his approval and admiration of my findings and then he hit me up with a (non THE ROOM) question of his own for me!
Yum, it's produced by a female bantha’s mammary glands!
“Hey, what do you think that blue stuff that Aunt Beru gave to Luke to drink when he was whining about going to get the power converters was?“
Hmmmmm…an interesting question…I was pretty sure Bwana was in no way making fun of me or “busting my balls” as the (Italian) kids say…so I hit the internets to find out just what in the Hell was in that future flask!
A few key strokes later and I ended up on Wookieepedia! And sure as shit there was an entry for Blue Milk!
It says: “Blue milk, sometimes known as Bantha milk[1] was a blue-colored liquid produced by a female bantha’s mammary glands. It could be found on most planets across the galaxy. The milk was well known for being very rich and refreshing, its opaque coloring suggesting that it was also sweet. The milk was also used to make a variety of yogurt, ice cream, and cheese.“
There’s even a commercial for it:
So, there you go, Bwana! If you (or any of you other Awesomeness readers) think of any other burning questions I can answer for ya’ just let me know at mrcanacorn@gmail.com or hit me up in the comments section!
‘Cause Sheba Shayne will repeatedly shove your face in granulated chlorine, making you “the whitest nigga that ever left Louisville!”
Product Name:SENTRY GRANULATED CHLORINE FOR SWIMMING POOLS
Risk Phrases: Contact with combustible material may cause fire. Harmful if swallowed. Contact with acids liberates toxic gas. Causes burns. Risk of serious damage to eyes. Very toxic to aquatic organisms.
Safety Phrases: Avoid contact with skin and eyes. In case of contact with eyes, rinse immediately with plenty of water and seek medical advice. Wear suitable protective clothing, gloves and eye/face protection. In case of accident or if you feel unwell, seek medical advice immediately (show the label whenever possible).
Inhalation: Remove victim from area of exposure – avoid becoming a casualty. Remove contaminated clothing and loosen remaining clothing. Allow patient to assume most comfortable position and keep warm. Keep at rest until fully recovered. If patient finds breathing difficult and develops a bluish discoloration of the skin (which suggests a lack of oxygen in the blood – cyanosis), ensure airways are clear of any obstruction and have a qualified person give oxygen through a face mask. Apply artificial respiration if patient is not breathing. Seek immediate medical advice.
Skin Contact: If skin or hair contact occurs, immediately remove any contaminated clothing and wash skin and hair thoroughly with running water. If swelling, redness, blistering or irritation occurs seek medical assistance.
Eye Contact: Immediately wash in and around the eye area with large amounts of water for at least 15 minutes. Eyelids to be held apart. Remove clothing if contaminated and wash skin. Urgently seek medical assistance. Transport to hospital or medical center.
Ingestion: Immediately rinse mouth with water. If swallowed, do NOT induce vomiting. Give a glass of water. Seek immediate medical assistance.
Medical attention and special treatment: Treat symptomatically. Can cause corneal burns. Delayed effects from exposure to chlorine (decomposition product) can include shortness of breath, severe headache, pulmonary edema and pneumonia.
Long Term Effects: No information available for the product.
Hey boners, it’s Toni Basil!
Yeah, yeah, yeah…just because I got me one of them there baby Canacorns doesn’t mean I’m gonna’ stop buying records.
Let’s see…where to start?
