Why do they buy so many damn vowels?

Christ on a bike, was it hard to get my ass on the elliptical this evening! I hemmed and hawed for hours…just dicking around on the interweb: watching that creepy Tom Cruise Scientology video on Defamer, looking up info on David Miscavige, watching old Sesame Street videos on YouTube (oh, Roosevelt Franklin, you crack me up), and adding some new friends to my blogroll. You know, doing anything but exercising.

By the time I pumped myself up into hitting the gym (the garage) it was 6:30pm. Hmmmm, what to watch on the “garage teevee”? Oh snap, Wheel Of Fortune is on! I haven’t watched that show in a ‘coon’s age…What a great way to kill thirty minutes!

Ready for my thoughts while working out?
-Vanna’s looking pretty good…not too many close ups nowadays…what’s the deal with that Chico’s dress?
-Is Pat a dick…he seems kind of nice…I bet he’s a total dick off camera.
-Ha, Ed Grimley…”I must say.” Heh…
-I can almost see down that chick’s blouse when she spins that wheel.
-Kind of food….kind of food…s pp y and s m k rs on ole heat read….what the fuck?
-Why do they buy so many damn vowels?
-Skippy and smuckers on whole wheat bread!
-Oh, bankrupt.
-What the fuck is she going to do in Arizona with her brother?
-Oh, bankrupt again!
-Why are you wasting all your money on vowels?!
-So close…what if she wasn’t wearing a bra?
-You’re practically giving the other players the advantage! Just spin again and solve it already! Another fucking vowel!?

You get the gist. I was screaming about vowels for 25 minutes in my garage today…my neighbors must think I’m insane. Luckily, The Wife is in Dallas, so she didn’t hear me get all spazzy about vowel purchasing.

Oh shiz, speaking of the love of my life, I gotta’ pick her up at the airport!

Here’s a video before I go:

Later, skaters!

3 Responses to “Why do they buy so many damn vowels?”

  1. Myrtle Says:

    Have you noticed how many bullshit “extra” prizes they have now? They should just call it “Wheel of Product Placement”.

    “Look what’s on the $500 space – A Vacation Package! Johnny, tell them where they’re going….”
    “You’re going to beautiful, scenic, Bakersfield!”

    Oh that’s right, you dont know what Bakersfield is, you’re in Texas….. 🙂

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    Thanks to Alvis Edgar “Buck” Owens, Jr., I at least know about The Bakersfield Sound. At least I’m in Austin, Texas…a small oasis of blue in a sea of red. <@:) (That’s the pointy hat, curly hair, smiley face emoticon!)

  3. Myrtle Says:

    Austin is just like Silverlake – same hipsters, better BBQ 🙂

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