Two For Tuesdays

So I work at a record store, right? I try to avoid bitching about the customers and getting all stereotypical record store employee on this here blog…but today, I’m going all fuck that and letting off a little steam.

There’s a certain type of customer who doesn’t want any help from “younger people”. You’d think it would be the real old timers looking for the LIGHT CRUST DOUGHBOYS or some BOB WILLS…but you’d be wrong. The old timers are some of the best people to help…almost always polite, thankful, and plum surprised when a young feller like myself is actually interested in the music their interested in.

The real problem customers are THE BOOMERS. They can’t stand the thought that anyone younger than them even knows what music is, man. It’s always the same routine, “Can you get me someone more my age…they’ll know for sure what ALLMAN BROTHERS CD “QUEEN OF HEARTS” is on.” It’s like, “If you didn’t experience the 60s, man, you just won’t be able to help me.” ARGH! It would blow their minds if they knew I listened to music made before 1991!

(Side note: “Queen of Hearts” was originally on Gregg Allman’s Lp LAID BACK)

Anyway, I got a real live Boomer the other day who wanted a song she knew the title to but not the artist…and if I could get someone older…you know, more her age, they’d know who sang it. Well, I blew her mind by using a computer and typing in the song title..and what do you know, up popped the info we needed!

Oh, this was the song:

Just When I Needed You Most

Pretty cool song, Boomer…………..but not cool enough for TWO FOR TUESDAYS here at AWESOMENESS!

Maybe if I was more your age I wouldn’t listen to this:

KING DIAMOND

WELCOME HOME

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

Fuck you, Boomers!

18 Responses to “Two For Tuesdays”

  1. Dr Julius Limbani Says:

    It only gets worse. Wait ten years, see how much you like 99.999 % of the people born in the 80’s.

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    You’re probably right….

  3. Myrtle Says:

    People just dont even bother asking Myrtle anymore, because I just blow them away with my musical knowledge*

    *I have no life

  4. mrcanacorn Says:

    Okay, let’s play Myrt works in a record store…

    I’ll be the customer.

    1) What’s the song about a ship and the people drowned and there’s something about Detroit? I think a guy sings it. It’s an older song.

    2) There’s the song from the 70s about a guy saying one last goodbye to his ex-girlfriend but her mom won’t let her talk on the phone. It’s country but kind of rock and roll too.

    and now the easy one…
    3)There’s this cd..it has this shape of liquid or something..it’s blue with a white backround…it kinda’ looks like the stuff on David Bowie’s shoulder on that one cd…not Ziggy Stardust…you know it….they were a gay band from England…they used to be another band…I know you know…it’s super popular…

  5. Myrtle Says:

    Sigh…..

    #1 – The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald – Gordon Lightfoot (gay)

    #2 – Sylvia’s Mothers Lyrics – Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show (even gayer)

    #3 – The Best of New Order (least gay of all)

    So now what? Besides fucking your mother like I just fucked you up on this quiz?

  6. mrcanacorn Says:

    You’re awesome!

  7. Dr Julius Limbani Says:

    What’s that Robbie Benson song about the fruit whose dad doesn’t want to talk to him on the cb radio? I think Mark Hamil was in the movie. It’s not “Corvette Summer”.
    How could New Order be least gay?

  8. Myrtle Says:

    Um, because they’re not Depeche Mode?*

    *Myrtle is a fag that also likes Depeche Mode 🙂

  9. Soylent Steve Says:

    How can someone who hates music work in a record store?

    Ouch.

    The mighty Mr. C got knocked out by some Valley chick born in the 90’s that thinks Morrissey has a career.

    Now you know how I feel.

    This is a sad day……a sad day indeed.

    I gotta go have a laugh/cry.

    -S

  10. mrcanacorn Says:

    Young Myrt has the power of the interweb at her disposal…which is fair, I use it myself at work. (I know there is no way the uber-cool Myrt has even listened to a Dr. Hook record…of course I threw her a big gay bone with the New Order…..and everyone should know Lightfoot’s ultimate party ender.)

    …and it isn’t a contest…since I have not been challenged.

  11. Dr Julius Limbani Says:

    It’s “Ode to Billy Joe”. The clues were all there. Anyway, half of Julius Limbani is in the Austin paper today. The musical half.

  12. mrcanacorn Says:

    Dr. J, you’re nuts…I thought you meant Robby Benson sang it…doesn’t Bobbie Gentry sing the theme to the movie…besides, I go with the whole mixed race, baby thrown off the bridge theory behind the song….not the drunken homo movie plot.

    But you stumped me…I spent at least 15 minutes listening to Robby Benson songs this afternoon at work….thanks for that.

    In the paper..wha?

  13. Dr Julius Limbani Says:

    Mark Hamil was in ‘The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia” not sure if they made a ‘Talk to Teddy Bear” movie but they should. Yeah, Rib and his band are in Xlent.

  14. mrcanacorn Says:

    That’s funny you mention Teddy Bear…while I was researching the RB song/movie, I was thinking about red Sovine’s amazing song! Just a quick fun fact…I have that record 🙂

  15. Myrtle Says:

    Um, maybe because my Dad likes Dr. Hook and has Dr. Hook records. He’s an old fuck like you, so its understandable that you guys would have the same taste 🙂

  16. mrcanacorn Says:

    Call me when you’re 30 little girl, and I’ll buy you some big girl panties for your birthday. 😉

  17. Myrtle Says:

    Steve already laid claim on THAT honor!

    Sorry Uncle Corn…. 😉

  18. Soylent Steve Says:

    You can have the nipple clamps he bought for me.


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