Now Way A Mint, I Can Splain Everthin

Do you guys have a family member that sends out those weird chain emails? You know the ones…you groan every time you open your inbox and see..

Fw: She really works!!!!!!!!! If you need money

See the stars? That’s “Money coming my way!

Money Angel
This is a money angel Pass it to 6 of your good friends,
or family and be rich in 4 Days.
Pass it to 12 of your good friends or family and be rich in 2 Days.
I am not joking. You will find an unexpected windfall. If you delete it, you will never know!

Blagh! Go eat a fart sandwich, Money Angel…if that is your real name!

But, every once in a while I get a random email from one of my Aunts…sometimes it’s a update about the family but mostly it’s just some dumb joke. I actually don’t mind these joke emails too much…in a way, the remind me of my childhood and just how goofy my family is.

So, guess what? I’m going to share these jokes with you Jive Turkeys when I get them from now on…

On to the hilarity!

Two Navy Chiefs are getting shitfaced at the Club when suddenly one of ’em throws up all
over himself.

“Damn, now my wife will kill me!”

The other chief says,

“Don’t worry. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your
wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars to have it
dry cleaned.”

So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually they stumble out and go home and this chief’s wife started to
chew his ass out.

“You reek of alcohol and you’ve puked all over yourself! My God, you’re

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, the chief says,

“Now way a mint, I can splain everthin. Ish snot wha jew think.
I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thish damn Marine ga ssick on me.
He had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was
verrry sorry an’ gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!”

His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, “But this is forty bucks.”

“Oh, yeah I almos’ fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.”