Remember when The Wife went and abandoned my sorry ass at the record store (read: got herself a new job)? Well, first off, she’s loving it (thanks for asking) and second, there is some training involved when you start a new job…huh…who knew?
Part of the training involves this thing called THE NOZONE! Here, I’ll let The Wife explain…Uh, Wife, could you please come in here for a sec?
Hey Y’all… it’s The Wife… ok, so, you see, it’s like this… THE NOZONE is my personal threshold for harassment… for example… say you told me a racist joke, but I thought it was funny… not the NOZONE… but say you told me a racist joke and I was totally offended… NOZONE!
Let’s say you accidentally brush up against my boob in the breakroom, but then you apologize immediately… not the NOZONE… but what if you brush up against my boob and then say something like ‘was it as good for you as it was for me’… and (now this is important) I WASN’T into it… NOZONE… if I WAS into your totally crude comment… no worries about any zones at all…
Thanks, hon. So, lets try this shall we? Here are a couple of cartoons that accompanied the training…you decide, NOZONE or not!
Wow…those old White dudes are totally racist….but are we in the NOZONE? If you guessed “YES” you are wrong. Why? Well, look at ’em….not one of those guys cares that anything they’re saying is offensive…in fact, what they’re saying is not offensive to any of them. Now say some “sneaky” Japanese guy was hiding behind an office chair or a plant and he overheard guy #3…now we just might be entering Mr. Moto’s NOZONE! Which is wrong and bad.
Okay, on to the next one…
Well, NOZONE or not? Look closely at Jose…you know what, I’m starting to think that the guy in the chair isn’t even named Jose…it could be Timoteo, or Onofre, or Honoratas, or Efrain, or even Ambrosio…shit, this doesn’t look good…and notice the thought balloon above “Jose”…it’s all filled with “*!@#&” and in the Hispanic cartoon world that could only mean one thing, “Cojeda tú tú asno perra!” This is so totally NOZONE right here, people, it’s not even funny.
How did y’all do? Don’t worry if you’re not catching on right away. This kind of stuff takes practice, believe me. So just keep at it and don’t be afraid to ask people if you’ve entered their NOZONE with your seemingly appropriate behavior…you just might be surprised.
Luckily for me, The Wife took the online training (and aced the NOZONE test at the end) so she’ll be able to help me recognize other people’s NOZONES in the future.
Good luck, Boners!