“Bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I’m going through”- R. Kelly


This artists rendering shows R&B singer R. Kelly, right, watching in court as prosecutors played the sex tape at the center of his child pornography trial in open court in Chicago on Tuesday, May 20, 2008, just hours after opening statements in which they accused the R&B singer of choreographing and starring in the footage with an underage girl.” (AP Photo/Lou Chukman)

My favorite part: “….they accused the R&B singer of choreographing and starring in the footage with an underage girl.” Wha? Not that I really want to see Kells having sex with a minor, but it was fucking choreographed?! I mean, I don’t doubt it…we are talking about The R. Kelly…you all saw what he did with TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET…so, I’m a guessin’ if he put half as much energy into this 25 minute video it has to be entertaining. Maybe entertaining isn’t the right word. It would be interesting? I know you’re wondering what’s on that tape.

I bet it looks a little something like this:

Or maybe not….but it would be a whole lot cooler than child porn if it did.