“Bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I’m going through”- R. Kelly


This artists rendering shows R&B singer R. Kelly, right, watching in court as prosecutors played the sex tape at the center of his child pornography trial in open court in Chicago on Tuesday, May 20, 2008, just hours after opening statements in which they accused the R&B singer of choreographing and starring in the footage with an underage girl.” (AP Photo/Lou Chukman)

My favorite part: “….they accused the R&B singer of choreographing and starring in the footage with an underage girl.” Wha? Not that I really want to see Kells having sex with a minor, but it was fucking choreographed?! I mean, I don’t doubt it…we are talking about The R. Kelly…you all saw what he did with TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET…so, I’m a guessin’ if he put half as much energy into this 25 minute video it has to be entertaining. Maybe entertaining isn’t the right word. It would be interesting? I know you’re wondering what’s on that tape.

I bet it looks a little something like this:

Or maybe not….but it would be a whole lot cooler than child porn if it did.

5 Responses to ““Bin Laden is the only one who knows exactly what I’m going through”- R. Kelly”

  1. bwanavoodoo Says:

    I think I saw it but it would’ve been years ago, around 2001 or so. Is it that old?

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    Yep…they claim she was 14 and she’s 23 now. Did it look choreographed? Was there dancing? Twirling ribbons? Synchronized humping? A guy in a gorilla suit?

  3. bwanavoodoo Says:

    No, pretty average amateur stuff. If it’s the same girl she was 14 like Traci Lords was 14. Pretty willing, not kiddie porn but just a slutty teenager. Some guy on the Joe Rogan put up the link for a bit.

  4. bwanavoodoo Says:

    I had a clip of The Homega Man Simpsons Show up as part of my I Am Legend review for about two minutes before Fox had it yanked. Completely unrelated to R. Kelly’s troubles I know but still.

  5. mrcanacorn Says:

    Wow…Fox is fast. I see my pic is back up on the Gay Pride/ White Power Unicorn post…I’m starting to think Photobucket is homophobic…every pic I’ve had deleted by them was “gay” is some way…leatherman (fully clothed), naked cartoon guy on a birthday cake (junk obscured by candle), animated gif of two guys tongue kissing, and the infamous (and my favorite) Hairpants guy.

    And back to R. Kelly…that’s disappointing. I expect more from Kells…not that I’m condoning any of this, mind you…I’m just saying.


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