Texas Chainsaw Massacre

We interrupt the awesomeness for a true life story (which could be considered boring to some)…

A few weeks ago I opened the blinds in my bedroom to see this:

What the fuck? When did that happen? How come we didn’t even hear it come crashing down? Well, I don’t have the answers to those questions, but I am thankful the damn thing didn’t smash into our bedroom, our back fence, or the neighbor’s house.

So, no damage..no insurance hassles…that’s good. Now we just have to call a tree service since my electric chainsaw is not up to the job…neither is my lazy ass for that matter.

This is really gonna’ cramp my style this weekend. I had planned on writing up to four reviews for Gorillanaut, but that just ain’t happening. Once the tree guys remove the broken hackberry tree and nine other smaller hackberrys The Wife and I will have a ton of work to do in the backyard for sure.

See? It’s pretty damn big.

But back to the other nine trees…First off, that’s a whole bunch of trees to chop down…way to help the environment, Canacorn’s! But, the hackberry is a “junk” tree…nothing more than a giant weed that will grow too tall to sustain itself and eventually come crashing down on our new deck, smashing it into useless lumber.

Well, that’s what the tree guy says anyway…and we just didn’t want to take the chance. Remove the potentially deck damaging trees that run along our side fence! Be gone, bastard weed-trees!

Great idea….So now, were stuck with this lovely view of our neighbor’s rental house:

Groan…..all we wanted in our backyard was some privacy and some shade. The trees provided both…but now we have none. This really sucks. As you can see, my lawn is super dead…so why even call it a lawn? Okay, good point…I have a dirt pit…a hot, dirty, dusty, ugly, sham of a backyard. Welcome to Texas, where it’s already one hundred fucking degrees and climbing! There’s no use in throwing down some sod or even planting some nice shrubs to provide some privacy…The Wife has a plan to throw up some bamboo rolls along the fence for a temporary solution to the privacy issue. Sounds good…it will look like crap, but at least we won’t have the renter’s next door dead eyeing us every time we step outside.

This weekend will be spent cleaning up THE BIG UGLY…that’s what I’m officially naming the backyard for now. I guess I just have to look at it like a phase 1 of a project…you know, when you start painting a room or whatever and it looks like shit at first, but then it slowly starts coming together and before you know it….TA-DAAAA! BEAUTIFUL PERFECTION!

But for now, it’s just THE BIG UGLY.

Be sure to head on over to The Wife’s blog (look on the blogroll on the right…heading: The Wife) on Monday for more of the story…