Donna Martin Graduates…

…To The number one Spot In My Heart (after The Wife, of course)!

Hey kids! If you’ve ever had to listen to me talk about television shows I like then you know that BEVERLY HILLS 90210 is quite possibly my most favoritest show of all time…and the gal on the left of your computer screen is the reason why.

I know everyone is all about Brenda (I will agree that she had the best line in the show when she told that one bitch in the halls of West Beverly to, “Have fun at the gynacologist!” super loud in front of all her friends), but for me, the reigning Queen of 90210 is the one and only DONNA MARTIN!

Everyone treats her like she’s some kind of doofus….but have you ever listened to the wisdom that comes out of her perfectly painted mouth? And how about that glorious bleach blond hair? What about her killer cleavage?! And the outfits! Dear God, once Season 5 kicks in, Donna pretty much abandons the flowery baby doll dresses with socks and some kind of boot and blows our minds with the most amazing combinations!

Sooooo, I’m going to put on my totally magical gay-hat today and treat y’all to……….The Fashions Of Donna Martin Season 5!

Okay, okay…stop your groaning already! My blog can’t always be about porn, horror movies, 80s music, and extreme old man homo fisting…oh, I haven’t posted that one yet…if you thought you wanted to skip this post, just you wait!

This is what’s doing….in a sort of regular schedule I will be posting the best Donna outfits from season 5 of 90210 disc by disc! Oh, I can hear your brains melting in anticipation!

For today we have disc one. Things start a little slow on the first disc…Donna is still mimicking Kelly Taylor with those damn baby doll dresses, but like a beautiful butterfly emerging from a cocoon, Donna’s fashion will go through a glorious metamorphosis!

Episode 3 gives us this sporty little number!

I like it…the hot pink short sleeve jacket is killer-diller with that super-hot, white, pleated skirt! You can also see the beginnings of Donna’s Big Barda hair helmet in the picture above!

In the same episode you get the first sighting of Donna’s hideous cut off shorts. Now I’m a man who loves a hot bod in some cut offs, but these are ridiculous! The worst part about these ratty things is that she wears them in multiple episodes!

First off, they’re way too big on her! Cut offs are meant to be tight and sexy…at least that’s what the 70s and 80s taught me. For shame, Donna! And maybe it’s because I’m a Virgo, but I firmly believe that cut offs should be symmetrical. What’s the deal with that long flap of denim on the back of her left leg?! This is a mess…the top is okay I guess, but I’m really getting tired of all these tiny flower prints. You best step up your game, girl…there’s only 7 discs left!

And then, when I had just about given up on her….Donna did the right thing and whipped her tits out!

Now, we all know Tori got her boobs done in her 20s…but they just don’t quite have the majestic cavern between them at this point. Don’t get me wrong, I like ’em, but they don’t look like they could be a suitable koozie for my tall boy of Lone Star…yet.

Alright, not too shabby for the first disc of Season 5. Stay tuned for more amazing fashion from one Donna Martin, as seen on Beverly Hills 90210, in the coming weeks.

Stay classy, everybody!

5 Responses to “Donna Martin Graduates…”

  1. aunt john Says:

    Oh Mr. C.:

    Respectfully, I must disagree with your assertion that Donna Martin is the reigning queen of 90120 land.

    My heart will always belong to Season 2 train wreck Emily Valentine. She slipped Brandon a mickey, fucked his car up, and then tried to destroy the homecoming float the gang worked so hard on.

    Heh, I typed hard on, ’cause that’s what I have for Ms. Valentine.

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    Ah, Emily Valentine….we’re not done with her yet. I believe she pops back into Brandon’s life this very season! But she doesn’t stick around long…just long enough for Kelly to get burned in the infamous season 5 fire!

    I do love Donna with all of my heart…but there is room for the other ladies as well…except for Andrea.

    I hate Andrea. There, I said it.

  3. auntjohn Says:

    Agreed, Zuckerman sucks!

    The Kelly fire with lesbian sub-plot is the stuff of genius that only 90210 could pull off with such, umm… what’s the word, oh yeah… awesomeness!

  4. freemblap Says:

    The fact that Zuck was like 46 when she did this show says it all.

    But Brenda Walsh was the shit for me! Plus she did Playboy in the only worthwhile edition since Sandra Bernhardt.

    Fucking Donna’s tits had separate zip codes and Kelly’s mouth looked like someone just pulled a hook out of it.

    And James Eckhouse…love the” House!”

    I’ve got wood waiting for the new show.*

    *Wood is slang for erection. My penis fills with blood and becomes erect or “hard” when I think of this show.

  5. Donna Martin May Be A Virgin… « Awesomeness For Awesome’s Sake. Says:

    […] you happened to miss the first installment you can go HERE and Get Your Donna […]

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