Man-Up Mondays!

Alright…things have been fruiter than Fruit Stripe Gum over here at Awesomeness for far too long! It’s time I Man-Up myself and put on my heroic-hetero hat, slam a few morning beers, and get back to some he-man type stuff!

So, let’s MAN-UP already! I’m going with a super macho dude this Monday…a real man that can live up to the respect I humbly throw at them with my link-heavy blog posts!

And there’s not many men who are even half the man Andy Sidaris was!

AP photo by SUSAN STERNER

AP photo by SUSAN STERNER

Even though Andy was a sports teevee pioneer, I won’t hold it against him. I mean, he did give the world his Triple B Series of films! What? you’re not familiar with the Three Bs?!

Hold on right there…I’m talking BULLETS, BOMBS, AND BABES, people!

I think anyone who has watched even one of Malibu Bay‘s movies would agree with me when I say, “You will NOT be disappointed with one frame of any of his totally fucking awesome movies!

You have inspired dialogue:

Beautiful locations:

And stunning costumes:

See? What did I tell you?

Be sure to stop by ANDY SIDARIS DOTCOM for more neat stuff!

For some great info on one of Man-Up’s manliest, check out G. Noel Gross’ tribute over at CineSchlock-O-Rama! You wont be disappointed…there’s an interview with Andy and his wife, Arlene, and some awesome Synopsis, Notables, Quoteables, and Timecodes for 8 different movies!

Like this one for ENEMY GOLD! (Which was directed by Andy’s son, Drew…but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean…so it still counts!)

Writer/director Drew Sidaris continues the family formula under Andy’s watchful eye. The flick opens in 1865, with a daring Confederate capture of Union gold. Hence “Enemy Gold.” Meanwhile, in contemporary Dallas, Becky Midnite (Suzi Simpson) joins fellow agent and sometime bunk buddy Chris Cannon (Bruce Penhall) on a less than by-the-book coke bust. An exploding crossbow melee later, they’re put on disciplinary leave, and join Mark Barriere on a camping trip in search of that legendary stash of yankee loot. Rodrigo Obregon slithers into the picture as a vengeful Bolivian drug lord so perturbed by the meddling federal do-gooders that he enlists a towering assassin code named “Jewel Panther” (Julie Strain) to erectify, er, rectify matters. Drew’s actually got himself a shockingly comprehensible plot here, punctuated by drool-worthy gratuity by Suzi and her Washington spymaster Tai Collins. Tragically, neither of the ladies returned to the franchise. But snuggled among the copious bonus material is an interview in which buxom Ms. Simpson tells how she landed the role and beams about the joys of strippin’ nekkid in DECEMBER for a (glorious) outdoor shower scene.

Notables: 10 breasts. 34 corpses. Cocaine-stuffed watermelon. Exploding chopper. Hand licking. Catfighting. Diddling. Gratuitous Civil War reenactment.

Quotables: Santiago’s goons clearly have too much time on their hands, “You better be nice to me our I’ll tell Uncle Jessie what you did to that chicken last night!” Ms. Strain emotes, “I’m suffering from a bad case of PMS! I wouldn’t try my patience if I were you!”

Time codes: Ms. Simpson slips into something more deadly (11:05). “Let’s hit the Jacuzzi!” (21:20). Panther slings a sword around while performing a fireside interpretative dance in black leather S&M ware (1:04:52). Suzie and Julie mix it up (1:21:25).
-G. NOEL GROSS