NoTORIously Awesome

It’s no secret around Awesomeness that I am totally crushing on Donna Martin…but I wouldn’t love Donna “I’m smarter than everyone thinks I am” Martin if she wasn’t played by ToriI’m smarter than everyone thinks I amSpelling.

Tori has been shit on by the media and the bloggers for years…and that’s one of the reasons why I think she’s so great. I know, I Know, that sounds just like a record store clerk…always championing things that the masses are too dumb “to really understand“.

It’s true, though…my love for The Shaggs should be evidence enough that I have superior taste and that I’m always right when it comes to deeming something/someone awesome.

Which brings me to So NoTORIous. The Wife and I totally missed the boat when T’s show originally aired in 2006. Which is kind of a shame since we hate being late to a party…especially a party where The Gays are at (aren’t they always at the best parties?!)!

T hides from Shannen Doherty while clutching a Colt Explorer.

T hides from Shannen Doherty while clutching a Colt Explorer.

Well, after The Wife and I both finished reading sTORI TELLING by TORI SPELLING we just had to watch her failed sitcom. If you haven’t seen SO NoTORIous, I recommend reading T’s book first. The book has all the background you’ll need to fully appreciate the absurdity of all 10 episodes of NoTORIous…not that you have to read the book, but reading is fundamental, you know.

Ts audition tape for Steven Soderbergh.

T's audition tape for Steven Soderbergh.

Anyway, we just watched the last episode last night and we’re kind of sad to say goodbye to T and her wacky friends and family. I hear this show has some sort of Gay following, but don’t worry, you don’t have to be a little light in your loafers to enjoy it…If T’s not your idea of eye candy, there’s Brennan Hesser as her gal pal, Janey. Or if you like your ladies a bit more old school, Loni Anderson is one fine looking cougar as T’s self absorbed mother.

T hangs with Charo in KiKis gift wrapping room.

T hangs with Charo in KiKi's gift wrapping room.

And if you do swing the other way (and haven’t watched the show yet) or if you’re a woman, there’s Zachary Quinto to get your blood pumping. (I was totally going to have a link of a fake nude for Zach…but I’ll leave that search up to you…they’re out there…trust me.).

Donna Martin Masturbates...classic.

Donna Martin Masturbates...classic.

So the supporting cast is great, but the show is all about Big T for me…not only is she a stone cold fox, but she’s funny as hell. Some reviewers have compared T’s show to Fat Actress (bleh) and Curb Your Enthusiasm (not quite), but I think it’s more in the vein of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (less like Seinfeld on crack and more like Friends on special K).

Check it out…there’s only 10 episodes…what else have you got going on anyway?

Oh, and I’d like to dedicate this next one to T…it’s by The Shaggs and it’s called You’re Something Special To Me (just pretend it’s about a girl):

You rule, T!

5 Responses to “NoTORIously Awesome”

  1. bwanavoodoo Says:

    On your recommendation I’m gonna get the Metallica album. Oh wait, sorry. wrong post. Some thing, something Tori’s penis slips out of her booty shorts and oozes yellowy dog water down his leg. Tori reminds me of Admiral Ackbar.

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    “Some thing, something Tori’s penis…” What the fuck are you trying to say? Other than you think she’s a tranny…which is UNpossible since she’s popped out not one, but two babies…from her vagina.

  3. bwanavoodoo Says:

    Yeah, it was gratuitous. But enough with the madiTORI and so on. Unless it “hisTORI: how my hemi-penis became a hole of sorts”. Didn’t she pretend to be a boy or something to secretly audition for 90210? So they wouldn’t give it to her just for being a Spelling?

  4. mrcanacorn Says:

    I think you meant, graTORIous. See what I did there?

    Tori did try to fake everyone out by pretending to be someone else for her 90210 audition…sadly, she did not pretend to be a boy. And yes, she did get the job because of daddy.

  5. aunt john Says:

    I thought of you Mr. C. two weeks back when I was flipping through one of them there glossy tabloids and came across a picture of Tori & Dean sneaker shopping. Turns out Dean wears a size 14 shoe. As Jerri Blank would say, “A girl could chip a tooth on that thing.” That Tori is one smart and classy lady.


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