Fetish Fridays! (Still NSFW And Totally To The Extreme Today)

Why, hello again, my fellow pederasts, perverts, pantysniffers and pimps*! Before we get to this Friday’s extra special fetish (actually, it’s kind of a three-fer), I’d like to take a couple of seconds to talk about knitting.

Well, not really about dropped stitches, tufting, casting off, and short rows, per se…more about a group of knitters that visited last Friday’s post in the double digits. Who knew there was a bunch of lazy, stupid, and godless knitters out there that had more than a passing interest in Human Cows and titty hard ons?!

Not me, that’s for sure. I kind of thought of the knitting community as a bunch of straight laced goody-goodies…then I remembered it’s not nice to stereotype and then I remembered the handful of super hip, cool, and downright sexy knitters I’ve met over the years. I guess knitters are just like you and me…perverts.

I’m not going to link to these freaky-deaks since they might not want to be directly associated with the filthy goings on at Awesomeness, but I would like to give them a hearty, “Hello and welcome” if they have decided to come back today!

Remember…this post and all the links are NSFW!

Alrighty then…let’s get with the dirty words and pics!

I was thinking about this certain fetish all week and I couldn’t find a clinical name for it anywhere on the internet. In my research, I did find out about jelquing though. Sweet Jesus!

Jelquing’s neat and all, but not what I wanted to talk to you about today. What I did want to discuss was the really bizarre act of genital pumping. Men do it…women do it…Hell, even the trannies do it!

Fashion colors!

Fashion colors!

I’m sure you’ve all seen the penis pump and are familiar with how men use it to achieve monstrous, meaty mansicles…so we’ll skip the guy’s junk…for now.

Let’s dish about the ladies. As you may have noticed on your left there’s this device called the pussy pump…it helps you achieve the plumped up, pulsating, protuberance of pussy you’ve always desired!

I know what you’re thinking, “What’s it look like once it’s all engorged?

Okay you looky-loos, feel free to check out this video to get a face full of one of the most vagtastic things I ever did saw!

Lookin’ good, Blondie!

And we just want to...clap...Pump...you up!

And we just want to...clap...Pump...you up!

So, yeah…you don’t always have to pump the entire outer and inner labia..oh no, my friends! You can focus on just the clitoris. It’s true! And it’s also maybe a bit too much for you to handle…but if you’re feeling brave you can watch a video or just believe me when I tell you that a pumped up clitoris makes a woman’s vagina look just like a basset hound’s face.

Seriously…I’m not kidding. Google basset hound…you’ll get the picture.

And if you think that’s weird, you should see what the clitoris looks like in the tube!

Okay…you thought that was creepy…uh…I mean, sexy. Then how about we get on back to the men?! Oh boys…..show the people what you got!

Some balls are held for charity, And some for fancy dress...

Some balls are held for charity, And some for fancy dress...

So, other than penis pumping, what can men do to increase the size of their junk to unholy proportions? How about ball pumping?!

Naw…that’s too tame…How about scrotal saline injections?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THAT’S JUST NOT RIGHT! NO! NO! NO! Hey, Ballzilla, it takes days for your body to reabsorb all that fucking saline! What are you going to do with those ginormous balls for two to three days?! Sit around your apartment watching Golden Girls reruns and texting your friends high-larious Blanche Devereaux quotes?!

Good Lord, I don’t ever want to think about that again….I think I just freaked myself out a little bit….Damn, those were some big balls.

Well, I’d like to leave you with a final picture today…just to hammer home how my blog will someday get me fired from my job…but after scrolling halfway through this page I just can’t take anymore of these people and their gigantic genitals.

Thanks to Tigerpumping.com for all the inspiring pictures, stories, and how to’s that made today’s Fetish Friday the overwhelming success it deserved to be!

Okay…one last picture:

has_been_seenpreview

*Today’s greeting was borrowed from The Demon Dog of American crime fiction.

7 Responses to “Fetish Fridays! (Still NSFW And Totally To The Extreme Today)”

  1. clydethepenguin Says:

    I went to a nudist dinner party once, and there was a guy who enjoyed saline injection. When I first saw it I thought he had a small hairless dog on his lap (he was sitting down). When he got up for dinner – I swear! – he had this thing the size of a basketball hanging between his legs.
    I didn’t get to talk to him (or I wasn’t yet drunk enough to game) but I was more curious about how the hell did he drive his car to the party. He wasn’t invited to the next dinner.

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    Oh wow, what a great story, CTP! Good question about how our plumped up party goer got his awesome sack to the shindig. Thanks for stopping by so early in the morning!

    It’s good to know I’m not the only one out there in cyberland looking at folk’s genitals before breakfast!

    You know, most people don’t really comment on Fetish Friday’s..and that’s okay..I actually wonder how many visitors are actually reading FF or just popping over to see if there’s anything “stroke worthy” going on at Awesomeness.

    Either way, feel free to stop in…and if you feel like rubbing one out, no one has to know…I won’t tell. 😉

  3. Soylent Steve Says:

    Would you date a guy that had elephantitis of the nuts?

    Of course you’d have to sit in the back seat because his nuts would ride shotgun…..

  4. bwanavoodoo Says:

    So I guess those guys licking that other idiot’s inflated sack are into it enough to be photographed licking a swollen ball sack. How is that a turn on for gay guys or chicks? It looks like a big, blood filled tick.

  5. MC Says:

    Is it bad that I am looking at that shot of the inflated balls like a dog would… it is disgusting and fascinating at the same time.

  6. mrcanacorn Says:

    Bad, MC? I’m not sure “bad” even begins to scratch the surface. You should click the “this page” link in the second to the last paragraph…I could only make it halfway down the page on that one.

    I’m just happy I don’t feel the need to engage in such interesting testicle enhancement.

  7. MC Says:

    I made it to the end… where someone had given themselves a happy ending and took photos of it. There is a point in my experience of seeing all those bloated scrota that I became desensitized to it.

    Then again, I was traumatized by Doug Stanhope after he discussed male urethra fingering in a recent comedy special. I am still wincing from that.


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