Fetish Fridays! The NSFW Quickie

“Another Friday, another fetish.”

All this work is tougher on us but better for you.

All this work is tougher on us but better for you.

That was my first thought as I woke up this morning. It was a real “Time to make the donuts” moment…I was all Fred The Baker as I hauled my tired ass out of bed and into the shower.

What to do? What fetish to report?

Pantyhose? Naw, boring.

Cum Worship? Bleh, too early in the day for me.

Vaginal tanning? Not this week.

Beeeeeee... gooood.

Beeeeeee... gooood.

Damn…I’m at a loss here people. I hate to disappoint…let’s see. I wonder if people want to have sex with extraterrestrials?

Well, of course they do…but what if someone out there actually wants to have sex with the one and only, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial?!

I mean, there’s got to be one or two freakazoids out there, right?

Let’s do some “research” and find out!

(Imagine me clicking around on the internet for all of…oh, I don’t know…30 FUCKING SECONDS!!!)

BINGO, BITCHES!

You want E.T. as a male?

Done.

Hey Elliot, who's got penis-breath now?

Hey Elliot, who's got penis-breath now?

Or as a female (and by female, I mean a giant burnt up turd with a vagina)?

Maybe she's some animal that wasn't supposed to live. Could be a monkey or an orangutan.

Maybe she's some animal that wasn't supposed to live. Could be a monkey or an orangutan.

Fuck, me. I gotta’ go to work. Be careful out there today, kids…you never know if the person you’re standing next to at the Starbucks once had sex with someone in a E.T. costume…on video….and uploaded it to the internet…so everyone could see…

Thanks to Population Paste for being the first site to pop up for today’s research on “E.T. porn“.

6 Responses to “Fetish Fridays! The NSFW Quickie”

  1. auntjohn Says:

    Can you please cover Mac & Me inspired porn next?

    Please????????

  2. Unk L Says:

    You people are sick. It’s NUKIE or nothing for me.

  3. mrcanacorn Says:

    Um, Auntie, after that clip I’m thinking McDonald’s porn…I’m lovin’ it!

    Unk…what the fuck was that?

  4. susanna Says:

    I suddenly hate you for posting this. I mean until tomorrow, when you will become awesome again.

  5. mrcanacorn Says:

    Fetish Fridays, raping your childhood memories one day a week!
    LYLAS! XOXO


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