Buy Yourself Something Pretty

Oh man, I know I haven’t been talking about my all time most favoritest show ever in the whole wide world in like, forever, but I just couldn’t let the episode we watched last night go by without comment.

I’ll give you a quick update just so you know where we’re at!

Sixth Season…Dylan is out after the assassination of his wife (I know, crazy, right?!). Donna‘s finally rid of ol’ love ’em and push ’em down the stairs, Ray Pruit, and has hooked up with Joe, the virgin football star that has that heart problem. Brandon is dating the Andrea-ish feminazi, Susan (gag). David is dating the most awesome, Valerie Malone (seriously, she’s become one of the best reasons to watch “The After High School Years” seasons). Steve is dating Creepy Crossed-eyed Clare (who’s face is seriously starting to piss me off this season)…

No really, Clare’s face has become a bigger distraction than Donna’s cleavage for me…Do you even remember what she looks like? No? Here, I’ll jog your memory:

Creepy Cross-eyed Clare Arnold

Creepy Cross-eyed Clare Arnold

Blagh! What the fuck is up with her eyes?!

Anyway…where was I? Oh, the best part! Kelly is dating the coke head artist, Colin. You know how Kelly’s all judgmental and bitchy and so not okay with cocaine because her mom was a total druggie fuck-up, right? Well, this is the season when little miss goody-goody gets all depressed over her shitty parents and goes balls to the wall…snorting up all the snow in Beverly Hills she can cram up her weird tiny nose!

But before the coke bender we have The Wife‘s most favorite scene evah! Kelly’s dad promised to move back to 90210, but he’s a flake (just like her mom) and decides to not move back because of some textiles deal or whatever. He has a flower arrangement and a card sent to Kelly as an apology for letting her down…again. Inside the card is a half ass “I’m So Sorry Note” and one check for three thousand dollars…you know, so Kelly can buy herself something pretty. Well, that totally pushes our gal over the edge…and this happens!

Buy yourself something pretty...

Buy yourself something pretty...

Like a scarf...

Like a scarf...

Or a pashmina...

Or a pashmina...

Or a Marc Jacobs bag...

Or a Marc Jacobs bag...

How 'bout some sexy lingerie...

How 'bout some sexy lingerie...

Or a pair of Jimmy Choos...

Or a pair of Jimmy Choos...

Or a shit-ton of more coke?  Thanks, dad.

Or a shit-ton of more coke? Thanks, dad.

Fuck yes! You know what this deserves?

The full on 5 Spaghetti Cat Rating of THE AWESOMEST!


5 Responses to “Buy Yourself Something Pretty”

  1. Yaz Says:

    I really loved when Kelly was all coked out, those are some of my favorite episodes. Poor Clare, that mug of hers is tragic and fugly!

  2. mrcanacorn Says:

    Oh Kelly’s all sorts of screwy this season! She’s even pissed off Donna so much that Donna won’t even talk to her…and Donna always forgives everyone!

    Valerie is doing a fine job of “helping” Kelly but ratting out her coke addiction to anyone and everyone…she’s so awesome.

    “Poor Clare” nothing! I’m totally anti-Clare from now on and for-evaaarrrrrrr!

  3. Myrtle Says:

    Gee, why do I feel like I’m in high school all over again?

    Hmm….maybe because I watched this all the FIRST TIME IT ORIGINALLY AIRED?????

    If I wanted to watch gay shit, I’d go to the stall with the broken toilet at the WeHo Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

    PS – Have you gotten to the season where Kelley gets burned up in a fire?

  4. mrcanacorn Says:

    I was too cool to watch 90210 in the 90s, Myrt…since I was already out of high school. But watching gay shit is totally the way I roll these days.

    PS- OOOOH girl, that was last season, now Kelly’s being stalked by that crazy bitch she met in rehab!

  5. Myrtle Says:

    But the most important question is – have you gotten to Donna’s stalker yet?

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