Do you guys remember when you first got on the internet? Gosh, I sure do.
Was it just me or did y’all spend hour after hour looking for the weirdest crap you could possibly think of? I know this won’t surprise you about me, but I spent a lot of time looking for….um…how do I put this? Um…Erotica…I was looking for erotica on the tubes of the internet back in the 90s.
And boy, did I find some.
And since I don’t have much time to dedicate to FF this week I’m gonna’ treat y’all to a couple of old internet favorites of mine.
Now, some of you curious types have probably wondered about the feasibility of fucking or being fucked by a dolphin…and I’m sure only the more internet savvy types among you ever found this web page:
Sex with Dolphins – “How To”, and a Personal Viewpoint…by Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn September, 1996
Remember Dragon-wolfe‘s awe inspiring Q and A at the beginning? It was where he addressed the most important questions about having sex with a dolphin…like:
How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex? (Just look for that 10 to 14 inch Bottle-nose erection, silly!)
What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any? (It’s “best to be clean” so be sure to wash with a “Betadine surgical scrub” before getting all intimate.)
Is their any way I can invite a dolphin to be masturbated? (Well don’t go racing straight to their genital slits…dolphins like it slow and easy…”rub along their bellies, between their pectoral fins, along the navel, and every once in a while, over the genital slit.” Yeah…slow…and…easy…)
And then, after the Q and A, Dragon-wolfe hits us with his very own story of how how became a Delphinic Zoophile. It’s pretty good, but I sure wish he’d spill on his first lover…you know, the one that was “brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget.”
Seriously…go read it…it will blow your mind.
Now let’s say all this dolphin hanky panky has got you all worked up, but you don’t have any access to some hot, swingin’ marine mammals. Never fear! Mr. Canacorn is here to help!I proudly present to you….
The Delphinus Delight Dildo by Zetacreations!
For only $60 bucks (plus shipping) you could be the satisfied owner of a dildo shaped like a dolphin’s penis.
You know, they don’t just make dolphin dildos at Zetacreations…oh no, my friends….they have a whole menagerie of animal dildos!
And even better…they have dildos like Woof’s Toy! Here’s the description:
“Here we have a toy modeled after a cross between a human and a wolf cock. It is what you would see if an anthro wolf winked at you and pulled down a tight pair of spandex, showing you his fully erect and throbbing cock. He is also graced with a large set of balls 🙂 The dimensions are 1 1/2″ across the tip, 1 1/4″ taper behind the head to 2″ at the knot 7 1/2″ overall useable length, and 12″ tall with a nice set of balls included. The toy pictured is in the naturalistic color for this model.”
Oh my. I know, seems kind of crazy right?
Well, have you seen the Thor Dildo?
Fuck me….no way someone has inserted this into their body, right?
Well, not quite, but close enough! (<—Click for video, perv.)