Well I was all set to do a Black History Month post for Fetish Fridays this week, but I just can’t do it.
I’m sorry Black Americans…it’s just that I haven’t had a godamned fucking cigarette in days and I’m going out of my godamned fucking mind over here!
I can’t focus…I have no desire to surf the web and cobble together a half decent post for the faithful FF readers…
Oh give me a break, you know what, find your own stupid fucking porn you lazy sacks of shit! What else do you need me to do for this morning?! You need me to come over and grind your fucking coffee for you?! Need more butter on your toast, motherfucker?! Well fuck you, you lucky son of a bitch! I hope you enjoy your fabulous fucking day doing everything you want to fucking do because you’re so fucking awesome….oh my…
…uh, sorry, it’s the cravings talking. I didn’t mean it. I like doing FF for you guys. It’s just that I’ve become a miserable bastard these past few days. The Wife can’t stand me, my coworkers are scared of me…Hell, I’m so sick and tired of all my bitching and moaning I want to punch myself in the fucking dick already.
My brain is seriously fried…the world has become a horrible place…I wish I could show you what I’m going through…I’m confused…disorientated…scared…
Oh, okay…peep this…this video is what a typical workday looks like to me without cigarettes:
What the fuck, right? I’m telling you, I’m not right without my smokey friends.
Whoop-dee-do, Mr. Canacorn can’t have a cigarette…I know, I suck…fuck off already. You don’t understand…I’m a fucking mess. You know what I did the other day? I bought The Wife a Valentine’s Day present…it was a cute bunny necklace she really wanted way back in August of last year. Great job, huh? What an awesome husband I am!
Yeah…she liked it so much SHE ALREADY BOUGHT THE DAMN THING FOR HERSELF…MONTHS AGO…AND I’VE SEEN HER WEAR IT…MORE THAN ONCE!!! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?
Now it’s last minute V-Day shopping with the rest of the fucking lame ass husbands and boyfriends that are forcing themselves to buy something…anything…so they can hopefully get a blowjob on their fucking birthday or so she’ll shut the fuck up already about whatever it is she never shuts the fuck up about. Which fucking sucks, ’cause I’m not like those guys.
See? The moaning and complaining is fucking nauseating. God, why have you forsaken me?!
Okay, one last image before I go to work and suffer for another excruciating 24 hours.