Gambled And Lost

I found this over at Zombie Vs Shark and just had to share…

Pic somewhat related

Pic somewhat related

To the woman that crapped in my car. – m4w – 25 (pdx)

Date: 2009-02-13, 7:30PM PST

To the woman that crapped in my car. (NE Portland)

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle’s lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don’t think anyone wins 100% of the time. That’s why they call it “gambling”. I’m the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better…like when you’re not sitting on a heated leather seat…

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
P.S. – If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.

How About A Third Fucking Blog, Mr. C?

I told y'all I'm happy to be having a boy, right?

I told y'all I'm happy to be having a boy, right?

Seems like a good idea right?

Well, in a way it kind of is…FOR YOU!

How so,” you ask?

I’ll tell ya’.

The Wife and I are going to be blogging together…all about our journey into parenthood.

See? I can hear you groaning and complaining already…

Well, that’s why we’ve started a whole new blog…the pornography and other not safe for work goodies you’ve come to love and expect from Awesomeness won’t, I repeat, WON’T be sullied by my rambling posts about “how scary it is being a father to be“…or the ridiculously nauseating posts of “look what we’ve done in the baby’s room,” and “we’re so excited to meet our son we can hardly wait!”

It’s called What Have We Done? and you can go visit if you really want to see what’s doing with our pregnancy and our lives. It’s safe for work and safe enough even for our very own parents. Except for some coarse language I can’t think of anything that could be considered objectionable…But you know me, I’m wildly inappropriate, so what the fuck do I know?

So, a recap: Awesomeness and The Bride will stay their usual filth filled selves and What Have We Done? will be boring stuff about our baby and baby related topics written by me and The Wife.

Okay? Sound good? Wanna’ see another pic of a couple of girls that make their daddies proud? You got it!

Look daddy, I made the cover!

Look daddy, I made the cover!