Fetish Fridays! Base For Your Face Special

Aye carumba!

Aye carumba!

Hey boners!

Sorry things have been a little quiet around these parts lately…you know how it goes…quit smoking (again)…get all despondent…you know that deep dejection arising from a conviction of the uselessness of any further effort on my part…and the despair and the cessation of effort or resistance that often implies acceptance or resignation of my complete lack of faith in myself…or whatever.

But enough about me!

Let’s get on with today’s Fetish Friday! And let me say, I have a sneaking suspicion that some of y’all are going to wish I took today off.

Sooooo, consider this a warning…those with sensitive hearts and impressionable minds should just click HERE and come back next week.

Go on now…go on…get!

Okay…are they gone?

Are you ready for this?

Today we go to a dark dark place….I found it on the internet a few weeks ago…it’s called:

CRACK WHORE CONFESSIONS!

It says on the box: No actual drug used depicted in this movie

It says on the box: No actual drug used depicted in this movie

And the website boasts, “Prepare to Scar Your Mind! Cracker Jack brings you shocking videos of Real Crack Whores telling their true life confessions about what these street walkers will do for their Johns. Hear insane tales of sex, drugs, violence, and life on the streets.

Damn! It’s like a bizarro mix of COPS and TAXICAB CONFESSIONS with a hearty helping of every HBO documentary about hookers and addicts ever made!

And…it has a theme song! That you can download!

You know, sometimes when I’m watching porn I think too much about the reality of what I’m seeing and what some of those young “actors” and “actresses” are going through in their lives…the self esteem issues, drug problems, social stigmas…and it really gets in the way of my enjoyment of all the double penetrations, throat gaggings, and extreme fistings

So why in the world would I want to watch a Crack Whore Granny Toothless Gum Job?

This crack whore Granny is best known for her famous toothless gum jobs!

This crack whore Granny is best known for her famous toothless gum jobs!

Or an 18 Year Old Cheerleader Turned Crack Whore?

Cracker Jack does not find fresh faces like this hooking on the stroll very often.

Cracker Jack does not find fresh faces like this hooking on the stroll very often.

I wouldn’t! Talk about depression….Jesus Christ…what the fuck man?

Who is jerking off to this?!

There’s over 150 damaged souls sucking and fucking for crack rock on this site!

And after watching Cracker Jack bang some of these broads without a fucking condom(?!) you can take a crack house tour! Hooray! Life sucks!

Who's Ready for Dinner?

Who's Ready for Dinner?

And to top it all off you can say, “Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!

NOT ironic.

NOT ironic.

Wow….worst FF ever…

So, uh…here’s a Canacorn favorite to cheer us all up after today’s post:

5 Responses to “Fetish Fridays! Base For Your Face Special”

  1. Myrtle Says:

    Dude, I SO posted that song ages ago on MySpace…[

    Not my momma!

  2. Myrtle Says:

    BTW – have you seen this?

  3. Soylent Steve Says:

    “Who is jerking off to this?!” – Present!

  4. mrcanacorn Says:

    @Dirt McMyrt: I seriously need to get my hands on The Dogs on LP…and Gormley gives me the heebie jeebies.

    @Creepy Guy Named Steve: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

  5. bwanavoodoo Says:

    I’m pretty sure real crack whores are black.


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