Fetish Fridays! NSFW Periodontics Edition

lh Hey boners! What’s shakin’?

Yeah, yeah, I hear that….”Another day another dollar…Time to make the donuts….Blah, blah, fucking blah…

Well hold on there pardnersit’s Friday…and aside from being alright for fighting…it means…oh wait, that’s Saturday…damn…

Uh, anyway…what I’m getting at is, it’s time to break you out of your humdrums and talk about some fetish of some sort! And if you couldn’t tell by the scrumptious picture of Lauren Hutton on the left side of your monitor, today’s topic is teeth!

But not just any type of teeth…oh no, my friends…only the ones with a gap right smack dab in the middle of those big ol’ central incisors is good enough for this Friday!

80616_Heather-Parisi-7-17_122_438loWe’re strictly talking lucky teeth, or as the French like to say, “dents du bonheur“!

I know the topic of diastema is a bit tame compared to some of my past FF entries…but it is one that puts a smile on my face (and by smile, I mean erection..and by face, I mean penis…so what I think I’m trying to say is, “The enlarged and firm state of my penis…is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular and endocrine factors, that is usually, though not exclusively, associated with gap toothed women.

Oh crap…now you’re picturing me and my amazing, incredible, expandable, blood filled erectile tissues….This is getting awkward…Uh…let’s move on…

So anyway, I was reading a review for ONCE BITTEN over at THE HOUSE OF SELF-INDULGENCE the other day (seriously, it’s the best review I’ve ever read for ONCE BITTEN…check it out) and even though Yum-Yum made no mention of it, all I kept thinking about was Ms. Hutton’s delectable diastema!

bella And it got me thinking about some other gap toothed ladies…Brigitte Bardot, Jorja Fox, Anna Paquin, Béatrice Dalle…man, there’s a whole bunch of ’em out there…

And get this…some of ’em even do the pornographies!

It’s true!

Which is kind of fitting…you know, because of the whole Canterbury Talesgap-toothed wife of Bath, middle-aged woman with insatiable lust” rumor that the “firste fyndere of our fair langage” and loveable scamp, Geoffrey Chaucer, started waaay back in the 14th century!

There’s Belladonna, Naudia Nyce, Pepper Foxx, Chase Taylor, and hundreds of other starlets in waiting flashing their gapes and their gaps all over the internets!

naudiaSo wouldn’t it be a great idea to have some sort of specialty fetish website for the appreciation of gap toothed women?

Of course it’s a great idea! So what the fuck, internets?! Where’s my diastema fetish site?!

No matter where I turn, I can find a fetish specific website for just about every sub-genre of porn…everything except this one.

You want clips and pictures of mature, BBW, amateur, hirsute honeys giving blowjobs to tattooed European gentlemen with big cocks that end in Roman Showers?

You got it! The internet provides!

But a guy wants some hot enamel action and he gets nothin’.

chase I guess there’s just not much of a demand for teeth porn….which is kind of sad really…I mean, look at this picture…

What kind of world do we live in that I can’t see this young thing try and fit those two big, bulbous heads on that soft, sensuous, smooth and sturdy 18 inch veined dildo between the contacts of her perfectly spaced maxillary central incisors?

A disappointing world…that’s what kind.

Seriously, internets, I’m gonna’ have to stop this whole Fetish Fridays dance if you can’t deliver the goods…I know we only do this FF thing (almost) once a week, but my feelings of dissatisfaction that follow your constant failures is really starting to take its toll.

So think about it…we’ll talk next Friday.

Canacorn, out!

15 Responses to “Fetish Fridays! NSFW Periodontics Edition”

  1. Myrtle Says:

    Guys don’t want to watch porn with girls that have fucked up teeth cause it reminds them of putting their cock in a Slap Chop.

    And you forgot Madonna…..

    • mrcanacorn Says:

      I had no idea what a Slap Chop was until I Googled that shit.

      Wow. That thing is amazing! And how about Graty?! Fucking brilliant!

      My favorite part of the commercial is when Drunky McPunch-a-lot says, “You’re gonna love my nuts.”

      Oh, I didn’t forget Madonna, I just left her out so you could have something to complain about.

  2. Soylent Steve Says:

    Speak for yourself smiley.
    An old buddy went out with a gap tooth girl. We’ll call her Karen as that was her name. I axed him if she arched her back and sprayed like a fountain after oral. She didn’t. 😦

    And you forgot David Letterman….

    • mrcanacorn Says:

      That Karen broad sounds like a real jerk.

      Oh…uh, David Letterman is a man, Nimrod. And if I was going to name check a gap toothed dude, it would be the 80s incarnation of Robert Downey Jr.

  3. bwanavoodoo Says:

    You’ve been working on this one for how long?

    • mrcanacorn Says:

      I know, right?

      Thanks for noticing!

      It really is hard work making each of my posts appear so effortlessly thrown together!

      I guess I’m kind of like the “bed-head” of the internet.

  4. Myrtle Says:

    He must be busy doing something – he hasn`t even acknowledged how I whooped his ass with my Three for Thursday….

    What a haterz!

  5. Soylent Steve Says:

    That’s one more than Two-fer Tuesdays clearly making it the better value!

    Next Friday I will be debuting Fekkesh Fridays!

    As you know Fekkesh was the Mr. Kotter look alike from TSWLM (The Spy Who Loved Me.

    Here he meets Jaws and his end @ 30 seconds in…..See you next Friday…..next FEKKESH Friday that is!

  6. Yum-Yum Says:

    I wish people would use their real and fake erections more sparingly when fornicating with Belladonna. I mean, just because she has a gap tooth doesn’t give you the right to plow into her many holes with reckless abandon.

    Damn, Heather Parisi and her gap look mighty fine in an AFAS setting.

    Peaches, the singer, has a nice gap. As does Sandra Bernhard.

    Oh, and thanks for the shout out.

    • mrcanacorn Says:

      The magnitude of erections and their increasing frequency of physical interface with Bella’s external openings has certainly become a cause for alarm these days.

      I’m starting to doubt she’s even human.

      Ms. Parisi is looking mighty fine…see more on her website under the Album fotografico > Riviste section!

      I really used to have a thing for Sandra B…some say she’s a real butterface, but I think that monstrous melon she calls a face and head is delicious.

      No probs on the shout out…maybe some of the FF perverts will come your way…let me apologize in advance if that does happen.

  7. Soylent Steve Says:

    Yes Sandra B!!!!
    That’s a huge omission.
    Love that woman.


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