Fetish Fridays! NSFW Funnies

art-tijuana-bible1 You know, I’m not sure why I call this occasional dip into the waters of perversity Fetish Fridays anymore…

It’s rare that I actually discuss a specific paraphilia these days. It’s a lot harder than you think, you know. Picking the right fetish…finding the right pictures and/or videos…avoiding all the fetishes that are boring, stupid or too fucked up even for Awesomeness.

I mean, I guess I could whip up a post about Somnophilia complete with a link to SleepCreep.com, but why?

I’d rather talk about Tijuana Bibles instead of some totally fake Snow White-whore-sleep-rape website…sorry…maybe next time, kids.

I really don’t remember exactly when I figured out what a Tijuana Bible was…it may have been sometime in 1986…and it just might have been because of Alan Moore’s WATCHMEN. Remember when Sally Jupiter got all excited when she found out she was featured in one? No? Well Zack Snyder did…check out the pic at the top of this post!

Pretty cool, huh? It’s the little details like that one that have me pretty damn excited about the upcoming film.

Anyway, even though there isn’t a real Tijuana Bible featuring the Silk Spectre there are plenty featuring some of your favorite characters from the funny papers! These little “fuck books” were what people used to look at waaaaaay back before there was The Internet, you know. But rest assured, they are filled with just as much porn, racism, and toilet humor that today’s internet connoisseurs expect!

jiggsNow, some of you youngsters might not remember Bringing Up Father, but if you’re anything like me, then you’re just dying to see anything involving sex and farts

So click on the picture and get transported to the wonderful world of tijuanabibles.org!

Oh, Jiggs, you slay me!

They even have a Dagwood one…and even though they didn’t work in a gag involving giant sandwich insertion, it’s still pretty good.

Oh, and there’s Barney Google and J. Wellington Wimpy…and even Moon Mullins gets some action!

Okay, okay, I can tell all this old timey shit is boring the Hell out of you kooky kids…so we’ll cut this short. But as usual, I have to hit you up with one more picture then you can go look at all your shiny, futuristic, new fangled pr0n….sheesh…kids today!

I'll say! 23 skidoo!

I'll say! 23 skidoo!

Y’all ain’t got no appreciation for real entertainment!

King Of The Latin Beat

Maestro of Mambo

Maestro of Mambo

While I too am saddened by the loss of Khan and Number Six, let us not forget CUBAN PETE.

He may not be as well remembered in the nerd circles as those other two, but he’s just as awesome in my book.

Pedro Aguilar– June 14, 1927 – January 13, 2009

Why should you care?

He was The Greatest Mambo Dancerever.

And even though he wasn’t Cuban he did inspire one of the greatest songs ever.

Chick chicky boom, chick chicky boom, indeed.

A Very Penus Christmas

Who's the blockhead now, Lucy?

Who's the blockhead now, Lucy?

You know, I’ve never really been a big fan of Charles M. Schulz‘s so-called “psychologically complex” and “indelible” comic strip, Peanuts.

Actually, the comic strip that ran during the 50s does contain some beautiful art and decent writing (not as good as Andy Capp though…heh, Andy Capp…his name’s a pun on handicap…oh, man…)…it’s the Peanuts from the 70s and 80s that I really just didn’t get then and certainly don’t get now.

Oh settle down you fucking jackals!
Like that’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard? It’s not like I professed my love for murdering children and raping old ladies! I just never got into some stupid cartoon about some depressed bald kid who had shitty friends and boring adventures.

I mean, really? Why watch that when I could watch something like this?

Did you see that? Savagery, Super-Science, and Sorcery!

Fucking Thundarr rules!

But I digress…Back to that blockhead, Charlie Brown. Maybe I could give Charlie another chance..but only if it wasn’t animated, had porn star, Belladonna, as Lucy, was written and directed by James Gunn, contained some sex, and ended with Charlie Brown systematically slaughtering every last one of these incredibly boring Schulz characters.

Sound too good to be true?

Feast your eyes on this this:

Now that’s what I’m talking about! Thanks, Mr. Gunn, for making this a wonderful Christmas after all!

I Just Have To…

I know I said I wasn’t going to post any pictures of Bettie….

bpnude134

…I lied.

See more Bettie at Hips, Lips & Tits!

Fetish Fridays! In Memoriam

rr_pinup550 If you’re a fan of anything fetish related then you probably have already heard that Bettie Page has passed away.

Like most men and women my age, I first discovered Bettie thanks to the awesome art of Dave Stevens (who also died this year).

Instead of posting Bettie photos on Awesomeness today, I thought I’d just share some of Dave’s beautiful Bettie artwork…

15betty

davestevensbettiepage

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bettie_page_comics_no1_1996_dark_horse_dave_stevens_cover

davestevens3

KABOOOOOONG!

I know it’s been a while…I’ll be back, I swear. Until then, watch this cartoon*.

*Thanks to Tenebrous Kate for her constant referencing of El Kabong…I was truly inspired.

Ghoul’s Night Out

In Dying Stereo!

In Dying Stereo!

My new Lps for Halloween!

Here’s a sample of a couple of these monster jams!

Wolf Call by Lord Dent and His Invaders

The Thing (Part II) by Curtis and the Creepers

The Guillotine by The Executioners

It’s gonna be a killer night!

Hey Kenley, Get Over Yourself!

The following quote is from an interview with Kenley on Gothamist.

The question was,

What are some trends you particularly like and don’t like?

Her answer,

I don’t like when you see major trends on people over and over again to the point of just played out. For example, the thin head bands that cut across your forehead over your hair. At first, it was “a look” now its just a bad trend. I do like when someone has a look that is there own. No matter what it is.

Ugh. Like your 50s retro shtick? Talk about a played out bad trend…But more than Kenley’s wannabe Bettie Page meets June Cleaver personal style, it’s her shitty attitude that bugs me the most.

With my very limited experience with “reality teevee”, I’m aware that there is an approximation of reality being beamed into your home thanks to the magic of editing, but after Kenley’s performance last night, I’m fully convinced that she’s a delusional jerk.

For a more detailed review of Kenley and her craptacular personality click on over to The Wife’s blog and to the fabulously bitchy, Project Rungay…I’m sure they’ll be much more eloquent than I in this matter.

Man-Up Mondays!

Is he man, mite, imp, or just an all around pain in the ass?

Why he’s all of the above…he’s BATMITE! With all the Bat-hype going on it was just soooo obvious to spotlight Batmite. Joker-schmoker…I’m sure Heath is all great and everything, but I really don’t care about the new Bat-franchise. The first movie left me cold and I have zero desire to see the new one. But if Batmite was in it, that would be a whole ‘nother story!

People seem to treat Batmite like he’s some sort of Scrappy Doo or Cousin Oliver….nothing is further from the truth! If you care to remember, Batmite was created waaaay back in 1959…he wasn’t added later to appeal to a younger audience or inject new life into a sinking title. Oh no, my friends, Batmite was following in the footsteps of such wonderful Pre-Crisis characters like Ace the Bat-Hound and Beppo the Super Monkey!
We’re talking Silver Age greatness here, people. Comics got good and goofy with hearty fistfuls of super-science stories and mind melting artwork before things took a turn for the grim and gritty. Batmite embodies this goofiness, with his unabashed idolizing of The Batman and his ability to fuck most things up in the most ridiculous way. He doesn’t mean to be a fuck-up, he just wants to push Batman to greater heights is all. What good is an idol if he just sits around brooding all day over the death of his parents? None good. Who wants to look up to a boorish, brooding, Murray-Mope-Around? Not Batmite…and not me! Batmite is good for The Batman, I tell you…and I’m not alone in this. Just look at The New Adventures of Batman and Superman and Batman: World’s Funnest..shit, even Frank Miller and Grant Morrison have used our little imp! Don’t believe me? Google that shit, yo!

Say it loud and say it proud, “We Want Batmite!

I’m Just Not In The Mood…

Sorry kids, no Man-Up Mondays today. I was busy writing reviews for Gorillanaut yesterday and registering for the Fall semester this morning. I have to take Chemistry for the third time next month. Bummer, right? It’s the only B I have left…you see, one B is one B too many to get into the Dental Hygiene program at ACC. Third time’s a charm right?

Here’s to Chemistry!