“Let Me Put You Out Of My Misery.”

So, I watched Punisher: War Zone…I thought the acting was horrible, the story was lame, and there wasn’t enough of this:

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Ray Stevenson was good, though…and he looks like Bwana…which was kind of weird.

Dr. Fünke

blueman

Premio Dardo…Major Award Or Cyber Herpes?

majorprizetelegram

Would you look at that? Looks like me, Mr. Canacorn, is the proud recipient of a Premio Dardo Award! That’s right, my favorite Unkle and Auntie over at Kindertrauma were kind enough to bestow the prestigious P to the D to me (and 4 other awesome bloggers) a few days ago.

Wow…that’s just great…I’m flattered…now…um…what the fuck is it?

dardo-1 Basically, it’s a form of cyber herpe (not to be confused with a space herpe) that us promiscuous bloggers seem to catch by romping all over the damn internet rubbing our cyber junk on every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a blog of their own.

Actually, there’s a better description of The Dart Award over at K-Squared Ramblings if you prefer a little more research and less sarcasm with your explanations….but I’m fond of the whole herpes thing.

Honestly, I am really flattered that the Kindertrauma boys picked me…I mean, if I’m going to catch some sort of cyber herpes from the internet, I can’t think of a nicer couple of guys to get it from.

So, I guess I should make with some viral shedding and recognize 5 other “unique voices and visions on the Web” and “promote fraternization amongst bloggers of all sorts” already.

A-hemAs Mayor of the Altered State of Druggachusetts, I declare these blogs to be…AWESOME!

NUMBER 1: THE NAKED JUNGLE

Make your house a home with the Paul Snider Sex Bench!

Make your house a home with the Paul Snider Sex Bench!


It’s the “Official blog” of Gorillanaut.com, so not only do you get links to movie reviews, but you also get posts about invisible raping gorillas, monsters, and Zebedy Colt!

…um, full disclosure here…I’m friends with Bwana and occasionally write a review or two for G’Naut, but that doesn’t mean I love his blog any more than the next four on this here list…

NUMBER 2: CHRIS’S INVINCIBLE SUPER-BLOG

This really captures the whole spirit of this award, don't cha' think?

This really captures the whole spirit of this award, don't cha' think?


Oh, The ISB…I can’t say enough good things about Chris’s blog…he’s been accused of hilarity, sarcasm, and straight up mockery of comic books and the comic industry, but it’s his unflinching and undying love of the medium that keeps me coming back on a daily basis. Listen up nerds, if you want more Silver Age references than you can shake a Super-Science Stick at, The ISB is the blog for you! Curious about what to buy at ye olde comic shoppe? The ISB has got you covered with The Week In Ink…you get the best reviews of the latest releases and it always comes with a guaranteed kick in the face!

NUMBER 3: LOVE TRAIN FOR THE TENEBROUS EMPIRE

You'll find a god in every golden cloister And if you're lucky then the god's a she

You'll find a god in every golden cloister And if you're lucky then the god's a she

A gay friend once told me that White guys that are only into Asian chicks are at the last stop on the train to Gay Town…and I couldn’t agree more. But what does that have to do with the Tenebrous One’s blog? Um…uh…they both involve trains? Okay, nothing, but I’ve always wanted to get that out on my blog…anyway…back to The Love Train

Just who runs this creepy little corner of the internet? Why it’s your tenebrous hostess, Tenebrous Kate! She’s a Libra that’s into Eurotrash movies, long walks through creepy castles, and she’s got a thing for nuns….She’s a member of The League of Tana Tea Drinkers
and she met a real live Krampus this year! Wow.

Number 4: HOUSE OF SELF-INDULGENCE

Likes taupe

Likes taupe

Okay, okay, I know I’ve been sucking the teet of this blog for weeks now, but I just love it so damn much! Yum-Yum‘s taste in everything from movies to music just warms my cold little heart…and thanks to this site I’ve been turned on to Dallas firecracker and Casa Canacorn official Goddess, Mary Cherry! For that alone, I am eternally at Yum-Yum‘s service.

SSSSHHH…Don’t tell The Wife (or Auntie John), but I think I’m totally cyber crushing on Yum-Yum.

Number 5: ZOMBIE VS SHARK

You know, sometimes with my busy schedule, I don’t have time to read the T.V. Guide…never mind some blog that’s all, “Blah, blah, blah, fucking blah,” all the live long day. Well that’s why someone with a bigger brain than mine made Tumblr.

Blogs on Tumblr are fun and easy, breezy, beautiful, like some sort of cover girl or whatever. And the Christie Brinkley of Tumblr blogs that I visit just happens to belong to Justin.

This young man has a taste for the finer things in life, like, “photography, zombies, Star Wars, rock n’ roll, cupcakes, Godzilla, ninjas, boobs, and explosions.” I can totally get on board with all of the above. Well done, sir…well done.

Whew…and that’s probably the most link heavy post I ever done did. If you have some free time this week, check out these five awesome bloggers for a walk on the wild side…’cause all the colored girls go, “Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
.”

“Truly, a forgotten treasure.” -Mr. Sims

There are many reasons why I visit Chris’s Invincible Super-Blog every afternoon while eating my lunch….my interest in all things Mind Force, for one…and it’s the only decent site out there where I can get my “ROM ON” on a regular basis.

But most importanyly, like myself, Mr. Sims is a man obsessed with ALL THINGS AWESOME….like this:

MONKEY VERSUS NAZIS--OMAC STYLE!

MONKEY VERSUS NAZIS--OMAC STYLE!

Pretty fucking rad, huh? Peep the post about a gorilla using a machine gun…on a tank…until he runs out of ammo…then takes on a batch of Nazis…with his fists…HERE.

But we’re not here to talk Nazis or gorillas today, kids….Well, I mean, we couldever see a gorilla wrassel a gladiator?


(Clip courtesy of Gorillanaut…of course!)

Nice…anyway…um, where was I? Oh, The ISB!

lbw041So, Mr. Sims was doing his yearly recap the other day and he mentioned his discovery of DC’s all-but-forgotten kids’ comic, Li’l Bruce Wayne!

What the?!

I know what you’re thinking…and it’s along the lines of, “Comics are for babies, Canacorn…make with the pornography…

I mean, “No way! A Richie Rich style comic about Bruce Wayne’s childhood? Awesome!” ‘Cause that’s what I thought too! Peep the Wiki entry:

Often disregarded as part of any continuity, Li’l Bruce Wayne was a long-running series of light-hearted comic books aimed at children, detailing the life of a young, fantastically wealthy Bruce Wayne (known in the series as “The Happiest Kid On Earth”) in the years before the deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne and his subsequent transformation into Batman.

The series was originally created by Bill Finger and Jerry Robinson to fill a gap in DC’s publishing schedule after the cancellation of More Fun Comics in 1946, and ran through the majority of the Silver Age despite being regarded by editors and fans alike as being “extremely depressing” [citation needed] and is usually left out of any discussion of the character. It is notable, however, as being the first published comic book work of writer/artist Frank Miller.”

Oh man, I won’t spoil his entire post (which you should read by clicking HERE), but I just have to share this one last cover…(this one’s for the nerds)

So Long, Mom and Dad. LBW Final Issue Special

So Long, Mom and Dad. LBW Final Issue Special

Get Well Soon

2708049043_1eec8d21bf Oh man, I was just over on Roarin’ Rick‘s page and saw that comix legend, S. Clay Wilson, was involved in some sort of dust up that has left him hospitalized and in serious condition.

I’ve loved his depraved drawings since I was in my late teens. Sure, Crumb gets most of the accolades for the underground comix scene, but S. Clay Wilson really captured my imagination and influenced my drawing style with his crazy bikers, pirates, degenerates, and dope fiends.

There’s a pretty cool interview at The Comics Journal with the man behind The Checkered Demon and Captain Pissgums if you want to learn a little bit about what makes a feller draw so many blow jobs and beheadings.

Get well soon, Mr. Wilson! I’m pulling for ya’!

Goin’ Back To Slumburg 09

FUCK YEAH! Canacorn says, “Bring it!”

When the fifth printing of my BRAT PACK tpb sold out a few months back, I promised I’d have big news about the next edition and here it is! King Hell Press will release INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH BRAT PACK, a 300+ page limited hardcover collection of all things Slumbergian, in Spring of 2009. The book will include the completely remastered original graphic novel (I’ve been able to rescan all the original art thanks to good guy art dealer Albert Moy), all the various color covers, over fifty pages of sketches, unused pages and promotional art along with the never before seen original proposal that I presented DC Comics with back in 1998. On top of that I’ll be writing a behind the scenes history of Tundra, King Hell and the whole furshlugginer comics scene circa 1991 when BRAT PACK became the #1 best selling independent comic and was nominated for an Eisner Award as best new series. And as icing on the cake, Steve Bissette has written an enlightening historical and cultural appreciation of the sidekick phenomena in comics and film titled TEEN ANGELS.

So if your old trade paperback of BRAT PACK is worn out, pass it on to a worthy friend who enjoys current series like THE BOYS, KICK ASS and THE AUTHORITY. And make space on your bookshelf for the ultimate omnibus edition of the great grandaddy of all twisted superheroes. INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH BRAT PACK will be solicited in FEBRUARY 2009 PREVIEWS for April shipping.

ROARIN’ RICK

@ # * !

A few months ago The Wife asked me what I wanted for my upcoming 36th birthday. As usual I said something like,

I don’t know…I don’t really care…

Which isn’t true. I can think of a million things I want. But what I meant was,

I can’t really think of something super special that you can get for me.

Then it hit me!

Oh, I know! Remember when I found one of my favorite comic creators, Rick Veitch, online? Well, he used to do this thing where if you sent him a picture of yourself, he’d draw you with a character of your choice in the page of a comic. Not a comic to be published, but your own page of a comic that exists only for you! How cool is that? I’m not sure how much it would cost…I think it costs more if you pick a character he’s never drawn before, but I’d love to have one done of me and Dr. Blasphemy!

I really wanted to include a picture of Dr. Blasphemy from Rick’s super awesome BRATPACK in this here post, but I couldn’t find any online…but I did find this sketch Rick did for a guy (named Corey…what were the chances?!) on Flickr. He’s pretty cool, huh? Imagine if The Wife could actually pull this off!

You see, when I first read about Rick’s custom work was years and years ago…I still had dial up, MySpace didn’t exist in my world, and Rick was only to be found at Comicon.com. Now, Rick has a fancy blog and a MySpace page! This should be pretty easy for The Wife after all.

Not so fast, Canacorns.

The Wife found Rick’s blog (he’s on my Blogroll under “Comic Creators“) but didn’t see any mention of this “personalized sketch thing” her delusional husband was talking about. Never one to give up (especially on her husband), she emailed Rick.

On Jul 28, 2008, at 3:00 PM, Noelle Corcoran wrote:

Hi Rick!

My husband tells me that once upon a time, you did custom drawings of people as their favorite superhero…

Do you still do this type of work? If so, I’m interested in having one done for my husband’s birthday.
Please let me know when you can!

Thanks Much,
Noelle

And lo and behold…Rick wrote her back!

Hi Noelle,
Sorry, but I have so much work right now I’m not taking commissions (don’t want to disappoint folks by not being able to deliver).

Thanks for thinking of me though!
Rick

http://www.rickveitch.com/

Wow. That’s pretty cool. I guess it’s my own damn fault for waiting over 3 years to ask for this present. Rick is super busy..if you didn’t already know, he has a new ongoing series for DC’s Vertigo line called Army@Love…which looks like another amazing project from Rick’s fertile imagination.

So, I don’t get a personalized sketch this year, but I really have the best present of all time anyway…

The best wife in the whole damn world!

oh, and new material from Rick Veitch ain’t so bad either….but I really wonder if he’ll ever finish The King Hell Heroica cycle? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Peep this Awesomness!

*And thanks to Rick’s Myspace page I found another talented comic creator who does have the time to do some custom work for a present for The Wife! Check out Leah’s work HERE…she’s totally going to be doing a portrait of our little troublemaker, Ozzy.