Do you find yourself frustrated with all those tangled wires and dangerous outlets that come with electrically powered marital aids?
Are you confused by outdated and convoluted laws prohibiting or regulating obscene devices in your home town?
Worry no more!
HOMEMADE SEX TOYS has all the do it yourself instructions for the horny READYMADE man and woman who enjoy creating unique items to have at home…crafted from everyday materials, including household items!I don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to buy a pocket pussy but just couldn’t muster up the courage to go into the local sex shop and plunk down my hard earned cash!
Well, thanks to HOMEMADE SEX TOYS, all I have to do is hit up the grocery store for some innocuous sundries, gather up a couple of things I have laying around Casa Canacorn and follow these simple instructions:
Step 1: Fill balloons with warm water
Get about four or five balloons. Fill them with warm, not hot, water. Tie the ends so water will not squeeze out. This also works with hot water bottles.
Step 2: Roll a pillow put a plastic bag inside
Take a pillow; roll it up like a tube and tie a string around it or even use your belt. Push the warm water balloons into the opening of the pillow tube. Your fleshy warm vagina is almost ready. Take a small plastic kitchen trash can bag. Push it in between the balloons in the pillow. Put some lubricant of your choice inside the plastic bag that is being tightly squeezed by the balloons.
Step 3: Warm, tight, and slippery fake pussy
Get your dick ready. Put the pillow on bed. Put your dick inside this plastic vagina. You will feel the warmth, slipperiness and tightness you only dreamed of.
Wow! Pretty neat, right?! They have a ton more how tos over at HOMEMADE SEX TOYS like fuckable bean bag chairs, totally awesome lightsaber didlos and wack-a-doodle giant foam finger vibrators for you sports nuts!Now, I know some of you guys and gals are so busy you don’t even have time to read the TV Guide, never mind fussing about with X-acto knives, duct tape, and toilet paper rolls.
Never fear, HOMEMADE SEX TOYS has got your back! They’ll help you see with new eyes…
Just look around your house…there are a bunch of things you can stick your dick into, massage your clit with, or cram into your greedy asshole!
How about your TOOTHBRUSH?!
Hey now, why not use your CELL PHONE?!
Now why didn’t you think of that before? So simple and so genius….
I do believe we owe HOMEMADE SEX TOYS a big ol’, “Thank you,” don’t you?
Alright, I gotta’ get going, but one more picture and link before I beat feet.
This one is for all you Foodies that drop by Awesomeness every Friday…
AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH, fruit and veggie vibrators!
They’re Nutritiously Orgasmic!
Thank you, HOMEMADE SEX TOYS, you rule!
(And a thanks to Bwana for turning me on to HST, you rule too!)