Things I Decided Today

With all the big budget films and movie parodies being cranked out by the adult industry, you’d think someone would pull their head out of their ass (or someone’s ass) and finally make this fucking masterpiece already?!

btilv

realbtilvI know BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA already exists as a porno…but there’s no evil magician, mysterious underworld, or kung-fu masters in it!

Just an “..interracial cast of petite cuties love having their tight and tasty little vaginas stretched to the limit by men with big dicks. The only trouble is finding them big enough to satisfy the insatiable appetites of these nymphomaniacs!

In addition to all the straight sex, there could be something for everyone…

Imagine a The Three Storms three-way for the gay and bi-curious audience?

You could even have a Gerontophilia (look it up) scene between David Lo Pan and Gracie Law for the more adventurous!

How about a record setting gang bang alleyway scene with the Wing Kong and a lucky green-eyed Chinese lady?

And don’t even get me started on what could be done with this little feller:

guardian

The possibilities are fucking endless…Seriously, someone make this….sheesh.

*Oh, I’m not sure who made the BTILV poster…but someone did, so, thanks whoever you are!

Take us away, take us away…

I’d be hard pressed to name my all time favorite movie…I mean, there’s so many genres, it would be like trying to compare apples and oranges or pears and grapes or…you get the picture.

But I can say, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, is one of the greatest movies ever made…and Jack Burton is one of the greatest big screen heroes ever!

So, since I’m busy, I’ll hit you guys and gals with The Coup de Villes’ music video and title track to one of my favorite commercial failures!

Like I told my last wife, I said, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides… it’s all in the reflexes.” – Jack Burton