Back From The Dead!

Well hello there, boners!

It’s me, your old pal Mr. Canacorn….ummm, hello?

Is anyone out there?

Christ, I know it’s been like 4 fucking months, but where did everybody go?

Now looking at my blog stats, I see the good ol’ porn dogs of the internets have been sniffing around Awesomeness looking for their beloved Fetish Fridays…but it looks like all my blog buddies have moved along.

This is exactly what DH school is like....seriously.

Hell, I can’t blame you kids…I’ve been a horrible blogger and blog reader/commenter recently.

I just haven’t had the time what with Dental Hygiene School.

That’s right, Mr. C is one semester closer to realizing his dream of becoming a dental hygienist!

Can you even imagine the beautifully manicured hands of one Mr. Canacorn rooting around in your buccal cavity?!

Well, you’ll have to wait a few more semesters for that wet dream to come to true!

But get this…I’ve got 5 whole weeks off and it’s high time to start serving up some marvelous shit to get your pants areas all wet! That’s right…AWESOMENESS FOR AWESOME’S SAKE is back!

So let’s celebrate with a video…oh, and it’s a small hint of what tomorrow’s FF will be about…

Okay then…welcome back, methe internets are a little bit brighter again!

Canacorn out!

Hey, Hippocrates!

The Father Of Medicine, Y'all

The Father Of Medicine, Y'all

What do you know about dental hygiene?

“When a woman’s mouth smells and her gums are black and unhealthy; one burns, separately, the head of a hare, and three mice, after having taken out the intestines of two of them (not however the liver or kidneys): one pounds in a stone mortar some marble and whitstone, and passes it through a sieve; one then mixes equal parts of these ingredients and with this mixture one rubs the teeth and the interior of the mouth; afterward one rubs them again with greasy wool and one washes the mouth with water. One soaks the dirty wool in honey and with it rubs the gums inside and outside. One pounds dill and anise seeds, 2 aboles of myrrh: one immerses these substances in half a cotyle of pure white wine; one then rinses the mouth with it, holding it in the mouth for some time; this is to be done frequently and the mouth to be rinsed with said preparation fasting and after each meal. The medicament described above cleans the teeth and gives them a sweet smell.”Hippocrates

Thanks, bro!

Blog-Block, Boredom, and a Couple of Books.

This past week has been totally BORING. I’m currently in a holding pattern for school…which means, no classes, no studying, no test stress, no nothing. Most students would think the time off would be great…but I feel like I’ve abandoned all my hard work in school just to become a lifer at the record store. I know this isn’t the case…it’s just that I’m finished with all my prerequisite courses and I’m waiting on an acceptance letter.

The kicker is, I won’t even find out if I’ve been accepted into the Dental Hygiene Program until April! Months left of soul crushing boredom pricing the same cds 40 hours a week…seriously, how many times can I check in that damn Regina Spektor disc?!

I’ve even let this boredom creep into my home life….have you noticed the lack of blogging from the Canacorn house? I had an acute case of BLOG-BLOCK. That’s right, I couldn’t think of a damn thing to blog about…nothing was interesting. I’d stare at wacky videos and read interesting articles, but I just was too damn bored to share any of it with you guys. Not even Pete Burns’ amazing balls could bring me to the keyboard.

Well, I’ve snapped out of it and I have a blog or two for you kids today.

Have you ever heard of Mark Baker? I was unfamiliar with this author myself until I read this article in Vice Magazine.

Now, I know some of y’all might have had some bad experiences with your local peace officers, but not me.

I love cops…and I really really love the show, COPS! Have you guys seen COP LAND? Remember when Edie Falco is telling Ray Liotta about the “animal head in the duffel bag bomb scare” story? Well, that came from this book…word for word!

Since COPS was so damn cheap on Amazon, I also snatched up a copy of NAM: THE VIETNAM WAR IN THE WORDS OF THE MEN AND WOMEN WHO FOUGHT THERE.

Jesus Christ, was this book a kick in the teeth. NAM has just about wiped my ass out. I’ve been reading it during my lunch breaks at work…a word to the wise, DO NOT read this book while eating. Some serious fucked up shit went down there and you do not want to be chewing on something warm and fleshy while trying to process the extreme fucked-upness of the Vietnam War. There was a part in this book that almost had me crying like a baby in the break room…can you imagine a 18 year old soldier with no arms (who’s wife just had a baby that he’ll never be able to hold) breaking down because he can’t even open the shitty Christmas gift the nurses gave him?!

Serving in the Armed Forces is not for me, but I have even more love and respect for Veterans than I do Cops…and that’s a lot!

So, if you like nonfiction books about some heavy stuff, pick up some Mark Baker books…he also has one called, WOMEN: AMERICAN WOMEN IN THEIR OWN WORDS, that I’m dying to read.

And what would one of my blogs be without a video?

“Learn to love the rope.”