Two For Tuesdays

And you were expecting something awesome?

Oh crap, what day is it?


Wow, way to disappoint Canacorn…a whole week since your last post?


Um..about that…I’m just lazy I guess.

So with that being said, I might as well keep this blog-train a rollin’ straight past disappointment and into complete and total failure…

Who’s hungry for some TACO*!?!?


Okay, okay…I get it, you’re worried I’m gonna’ hit you up with Puttin’ On The Ritz? Believe me, I was tempted, but you should have a little more faith in your ol’ buddy.

Let’s kick things off with, Under My Tight Skin!

Oh Taco, you ARE awesome!

What else you got for us today?

How about, Tell Me That You Like It (I’d like to dedicate the top and hairdo worn by the announcer at the beginning of this video to my pal, Yum-Yum, and the fabulous dancers to my Auntie John!)

Man, these live performances are truly works of art! I love how the post-Ritz-Taco is this bizarre combination of Wayne Newton and Perez Hilton!

I just have to play one more video…if only to thoroughly disgust Bwana and completely piss off Myrtle:

Last stop: Heart Break City

There’s your daily awesome for today….thank me later….

Canacorn out!

*No, One Night In Bangkok is not a Taco song…That’s

Snapshot Of Awesomeness

Premio Dardo…Major Award Or Cyber Herpes?


Would you look at that? Looks like me, Mr. Canacorn, is the proud recipient of a Premio Dardo Award! That’s right, my favorite Unkle and Auntie over at Kindertrauma were kind enough to bestow the prestigious P to the D to me (and 4 other awesome bloggers) a few days ago.

Wow…that’s just great…I’m flattered…now…um…what the fuck is it?

dardo-1 Basically, it’s a form of cyber herpe (not to be confused with a space herpe) that us promiscuous bloggers seem to catch by romping all over the damn internet rubbing our cyber junk on every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a blog of their own.

Actually, there’s a better description of The Dart Award over at K-Squared Ramblings if you prefer a little more research and less sarcasm with your explanations….but I’m fond of the whole herpes thing.

Honestly, I am really flattered that the Kindertrauma boys picked me…I mean, if I’m going to catch some sort of cyber herpes from the internet, I can’t think of a nicer couple of guys to get it from.

So, I guess I should make with some viral shedding and recognize 5 other “unique voices and visions on the Web” and “promote fraternization amongst bloggers of all sorts” already.

A-hemAs Mayor of the Altered State of Druggachusetts, I declare these blogs to be…AWESOME!


Make your house a home with the Paul Snider Sex Bench!

Make your house a home with the Paul Snider Sex Bench!

It’s the “Official blog” of, so not only do you get links to movie reviews, but you also get posts about invisible raping gorillas, monsters, and Zebedy Colt!

…um, full disclosure here…I’m friends with Bwana and occasionally write a review or two for G’Naut, but that doesn’t mean I love his blog any more than the next four on this here list…


This really captures the whole spirit of this award, don't cha' think?

This really captures the whole spirit of this award, don't cha' think?

Oh, The ISB…I can’t say enough good things about Chris’s blog…he’s been accused of hilarity, sarcasm, and straight up mockery of comic books and the comic industry, but it’s his unflinching and undying love of the medium that keeps me coming back on a daily basis. Listen up nerds, if you want more Silver Age references than you can shake a Super-Science Stick at, The ISB is the blog for you! Curious about what to buy at ye olde comic shoppe? The ISB has got you covered with The Week In Ink…you get the best reviews of the latest releases and it always comes with a guaranteed kick in the face!


You'll find a god in every golden cloister And if you're lucky then the god's a she

You'll find a god in every golden cloister And if you're lucky then the god's a she

A gay friend once told me that White guys that are only into Asian chicks are at the last stop on the train to Gay Town…and I couldn’t agree more. But what does that have to do with the Tenebrous One’s blog? Um…uh…they both involve trains? Okay, nothing, but I’ve always wanted to get that out on my blog…anyway…back to The Love Train

Just who runs this creepy little corner of the internet? Why it’s your tenebrous hostess, Tenebrous Kate! She’s a Libra that’s into Eurotrash movies, long walks through creepy castles, and she’s got a thing for nuns….She’s a member of The League of Tana Tea Drinkers
and she met a real live Krampus this year! Wow.


Likes taupe

Likes taupe

Okay, okay, I know I’ve been sucking the teet of this blog for weeks now, but I just love it so damn much! Yum-Yum‘s taste in everything from movies to music just warms my cold little heart…and thanks to this site I’ve been turned on to Dallas firecracker and Casa Canacorn official Goddess, Mary Cherry! For that alone, I am eternally at Yum-Yum‘s service.

SSSSHHH…Don’t tell The Wife (or Auntie John), but I think I’m totally cyber crushing on Yum-Yum.


You know, sometimes with my busy schedule, I don’t have time to read the T.V. Guide…never mind some blog that’s all, “Blah, blah, blah, fucking blah,” all the live long day. Well that’s why someone with a bigger brain than mine made Tumblr.

Blogs on Tumblr are fun and easy, breezy, beautiful, like some sort of cover girl or whatever. And the Christie Brinkley of Tumblr blogs that I visit just happens to belong to Justin.

This young man has a taste for the finer things in life, like, “photography, zombies, Star Wars, rock n’ roll, cupcakes, Godzilla, ninjas, boobs, and explosions.” I can totally get on board with all of the above. Well done, sir…well done.

Whew…and that’s probably the most link heavy post I ever done did. If you have some free time this week, check out these five awesome bloggers for a walk on the wild side…’cause all the colored girls go, “Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Whatevs 08

Picture Unrelated

Picture Unrelated

Over at Lucky Kitty, The Wife posted some of her favorite “whatevers” of 2008 yesterday.

So now that we know what made Momma happy this past year, what about Daddy?

Here’s a quick list of some of my favorite things:

– Seeing my son wave “hello” to me and The Wife during his ultrasound

– Finally getting my goddamned A in Chemistry

– Reading the best Superman comic ever written: All Star Superman

– Joining Netflix

– Watching this:

– Finally owning one of these:

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

Also loves:

– Visiting all the crazy awesome blogs out there on the internet (I’m looking especially at you Kindertrauma)

– Bringing you Fetish Fridays on a semi-regular basis

– Pubic hair’s gradual comeback

– Oh, and porn…and records, vinyl records

It’s a short list, but I think you get a feel for what I was about in 2008…I hope everyone had a great 08 and here’s to a super fine 09!

Rocktober! Day31



Here it is! The final day of Rocktober! Boy, what a long strange month this turned out to be!

You know, Rocktober wasn’t a total failure…I realize that now. I’ve been particularly hard on myself the past 31 days…worrying that no one was enjoying all the (mostly) hard work I was putting into my month long horror/metal celebration.

But that wasn’t the case at all.

My good friend Bwana, was always a strong supporter of Rocktober and he totally brought us Donny Most‘s most horrific character since Ralph Malph…the totally awesome, MOLOCH on Day 3..

The lovely and talented, Becca, over at No Smoking In The Skull Cave gave Rocktober, not one, but two separate shout-outs this month! If you haven’t checked out her awesome blog, do yourself a favor and peep it post haste! Just click the banner!

My favorite Auntie and Unkle even threw a parade in honor of Rocktober over at Kindertrauma…(well, that’s not totally true…there is a parade, but it’s the 1st Annual Kindertrauma Halloween Parade and has nothing to do with Rocktober…heh.) Thanks, boys! You’re the bestest!

Oh, I can’t forget The Wife! She stood by her man during the soaring highs and soul crushing lows of Rocktober…and even though I couldn’t find a way to work in Mike Schank for her, she definitely helped my Rocktober dreams come true with her suggestions, comments, and understanding.

I also gotta’ give a special thanks to my good buddy and inspirational coach, Steve. (Steve has no links…he is a private man…and a genius…seriously…he’s super smart.) Thanks, Steve, you’re always good for a swift kick in the pants area to get me back on track! You’re wicked awesome. Say hello to your family for me.

Alright! Let’s do this! It’s Halloween and that means it’s the 31st day of Rocktober!!!!

Today….One Man…Three bands…all metal…all horror…

Glenn Anzalone!


That’s DANZIG, you chuckleheads!

First there was the horror punk of The Misfits!

Then there was the death rock of Samhain!

And finally, the dark metal-blues hybrid of Danzig!

Happy Halloween, fellow fiends! Thanks for sticking out Rocktober with me….now go eat some candy and watch a scary movie or two.

Be Sure To Vote On Prop MJ!

This is really important people.

Cast your ballots HERE!

And how do I REALLY feel about the delicious Mary Jane? I’ll let Rick and the ladies tell you.

*Original photo by Nick Nick.

What To Wear On Halloween?

Thanks to My most favoritest Auntie and Unkle over at KINDERTRAUMA, I have found the perfect costume for myself this year! That’s it, right there on your left! Isn’t it the most awesome thing you’ve ever seen?

I’ve expressed my love for William Friedkin‘s CRUISING for decades…and I never knew they actually made a Halloween costume for deep, deep, and I do mean deep, undercover officer, Steve Burns!

Oh, and get this, it has assless chaps! Super-sweet!

Since I don’t have a time machine to zap myself back to a Woolworth’s in 1980, I guess I’ll be trolling ebay for the best Halloween costume ever made! And to think I was going to be an Indian this year…

What are you guys going as this year? Need some ideas? Be sure to check out the rest of The 10 Worst Halloween Costumes only at Kindertrauma, of course!

Miss Me?

That’s right, boners…..I’m back!

Stay tuned for more Awesomeness in the coming days…including Final Girl Film Club Presents: THE CAR on Monday!

Thinking about Final Girl makes me think of monsters…and thinking about monsters makes me think of Kindertrauma….and thinking about Kindertrauma makes me think of this:


Thanks again to all my friends for their well wishes and whatnots!

Man-Up Mondays!

Today’s man is certainly no hero…he might be more liked than last week’s Man-Up entry…and that’s saying a lot since he’s none other than killer cowboy pimp, Ramrod!

Ramrod…a multi-tasker.

Now, now, don’t go getting all upset…I’m not some sicko that enjoys the rampant violence against women in movies….uh…well, that’s not totally true, but I’m certainly not condoning real violence (read: not movie…which is fake) against women. But I’m not here to debate violent movies with you….I like ’em. If you don’t, so be it, but spare me your lectures.

Anyway, back to Ramrod! If you thought Joan Crawford had the market cornered on wire hangers and bitch slapping, you gotta’ see what Ramrod has up his sleeve…his pimp hand is strong, to say the least.

This is going to hurt me…oh, who am I kidding?

You might remember a little movie from 1982 called, VICE SQUAD! No? Seriously, go back and click the link to watch the trailer…I’ll wait…………………………..huh? What did I tell ya’? This movie rules for 101 reasons, but the numero uno reason is Wings Hauser’s chilling performance.

Best of Ramrod part 1! Here we get a small taste of Ramrod’s way with the ladies.

Best of Ramrod part 2! Now Ramrod shows the coppers what’s what!

Holee crap! Did he really headbutt that dude with that chick’s head? How many cops did it take to get one man down? Did you see how he got out of that car? Fuck, Ramrod is like The Terminator (the one from the first movie…you know, the cool one?) and indestructible psycho, John Kirby all rolled into one…but with cooler threads.

Ramrod, you rule, you sick son of a bitch!

To get some more info on VICE SQUAD and other 80s action masterpieces check out Uncle Lancifer’s kind of recent post over at one of my most favoritest blogs, KINDERTRAUMA!

*Thanks to VLogger, Janus131 for the great clips!

Man Eaters

Yesterday, my favorite Uncle over at Kindertrauma actually called Roz “Pinky Tuscadero” Kelly scary….now this is out of context, but come on! Sure, she’s got Man Eater written all over that 70s body…but that’s nothing to be afraid of, right? I know my 5 year old mind was blown when I saw her strutting around in those white shorty-shorts and competing in a (men only) demolition derby without a fucking helmet!

What’s the matter little boy, scared of a full grown woman?

Thinking of Pinky brought back all sorts of Happy Days memories…The Malachi Brothers‘ devastating move: The Malachi Crunch, the day Richie almost died, and of course…

Leather Tuscadero!!

Rocker chick, Suzi Quatro

You know, Leather was only in 7 episodes of Happy Days, but that was enough to firmly plant a solid crush in my young melon (and I totally was crushing on her sister as well…see above).

Enough with the Happy Dayslet’s rock!

Daytona Demon

And thanks to Suzi, the world was given the boner inducing band…THE RUNAWAYS! There’s so much to say about this killer band, but some of us have day jobs to get to…so here’s a video…I think it says it all.

Cherry Bomb

Man, I love me some rocker chicks!