NSFW Snapshot Of Awesomeness

tattooSooooo, I found this picture on the internets this morning…

You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?

What the fuck, right?!

I mean, seriously

Can you believe that shit?!

It’s driving me crazy over here

I’ve been looking at it for hours and I still can’t figure it out…

What the fuck is up with that dude’s tattoo?!

tattoo

Fetish Fridays! Always NSFW

Hey there! Miss me last Friday? I bet it wasn’t me that you were missing…it was the dirty pictures and naughty links, wasn’t it? It’s cool, you can be honest…It doesn’t hurt my feelings that some of you porndogs only drop by Awesomeness once a week just to get your fetish on.

So, what should we discuss today?

gia-002 Oh! I think I promised you guys and gals something to do with Shemales for this week!

As you can see by my autographed picture of Gia Darling, we are transgendered friendly at Casa Canacorn….but I think I want to cover something just a little bit different today.

Ever hear of Futanari? I bet some of you have, but you’re more familiar with the Americanized name of “Dickgirls“.

I know, real creative, right?

Okay, for those of y’all who don’t know what in the heck I’m talking about, here’s some descriptions from good ol’ Wiki:

The term futanari is usually reserved for characters drawn in an anime art style.

The traditional form of futanari in which the female character is depicted as having both male and female sexual organs (the penis sprouting out above the clitoris and vagina).

A variation on this form in which the penis takes the place of the clitoris.

A variation on the two above forms in which the testicles are omitted (i.e. the character will have a penis but no testicles).

It is interesting to note that, in some cases, the futanari character is depicted as having a penis and/or testicles that have grown to a size which is physically impossible.

Hmmmmmmmmmm, this all sounds a bit curious and kind of bizarre…which is just what we like here at Awesomeness, but futanari is usually animated…and we did animation last time. I’d hate to repeat myself…I wonder if there’s some real live futanari out there on the internet?

Of course there is!

masthead01

WTF? Seriously.

WTF? Seriously.

The pic is kind of small, but I think you get the gist of it.

Not convinced this is your thing?

Well, peep some teaser videos HERE…or take some time to meet the girls by reading their bios and checking out their cum cannons HERE!

I think my favorite gal just might be Martiza Meatsaber….or maybe it’s Stephani Spurtswad

Well, maybe you can decide which sexy teen chicks with a huge fuck stick you like best at Futanaria.com….but God knows I just can’t decide.

Wow, I can feel your resistance to this one from here…what’s wrong? It’s the whole giant cock and balls on a chick thing isn’t it? Would it make you feel better if I told you that the penis isn’t real? It’s fake…it’s okay…really.

Alright, I’ll stop.

You know, maybe Bakunyū is more your thing! How does this grab ya’?

Holy Mary, mother of God!

Holy Mary, mother of God!

That’s better isn’t it? Gigantic tits on a chick is so much easier to wrap your brain around than a gigantic dick on a chick, right? Well, you should hop on over to Mastasia.com and see what they have to offer you….you won’t be disappointed.

Whatevs 08

Picture Unrelated

Picture Unrelated

Over at Lucky Kitty, The Wife posted some of her favorite “whatevers” of 2008 yesterday.

So now that we know what made Momma happy this past year, what about Daddy?

Here’s a quick list of some of my favorite things:

– Seeing my son wave “hello” to me and The Wife during his ultrasound

– Finally getting my goddamned A in Chemistry

– Reading the best Superman comic ever written: All Star Superman

– Joining Netflix

– Watching this:

– Finally owning one of these:

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

Also loves:

– Visiting all the crazy awesome blogs out there on the internet (I’m looking especially at you Kindertrauma)

– Bringing you Fetish Fridays on a semi-regular basis

– Pubic hair’s gradual comeback

– Oh, and porn…and records, vinyl records

It’s a short list, but I think you get a feel for what I was about in 2008…I hope everyone had a great 08 and here’s to a super fine 09!

Let’s Get Physical!

Move over Olivia…I’m all about the Irish Indian Goddess: Hyapatia Lee! **If you click on that link you’re gonna’ see some nakedness…you’ve been warned!**

This video is totally safe for work though:

Girl Homo!

So, you think you like porn? Or maybe you think you hate porn.

You think you’ve seen it all thanks to the interweb. I mean, you sat through 2 Girls 1 Cup without even closing your eyes once, right? You even watched that crazy Mr. Hands video….hopefully, you regret watching Mr. Hands…but, hey, I’m not here to judge you.

I remember when getting your hot little hands on a dirty magazine or a porn video was akin to Sir Percival’s quest to obtain even a glimpse of the Holy Grail. Now a days, any horny 16 year old with a pc can witness the tragicomic events of a sexed up Furry Convention or worse, Japanese porn! What the hell is a teenager…or an adult for that matter…supposed to make of a woman with pixelized genitalia getting it on with a cephalopod while 15 guys in tighty whities gang bang a couch in the background?! Japan, man….2 big bombs…1 little island…*shudder*

The point I’m trying to make is, “What in the hell happened to just watching a regular ol’ pornographic movie?”

“Well, regular porn is just too boring now.”

“I need something different. Something new. Something wild!”

“But I’m not into extreme fisting (isn’t all fisting kind of extreme?) or all the pee and poo today’s interweb porn seems to offer.”

I agree.

Never fear, Mr. Canacorn is here to help! Ever heard of Rinse Dream? He created a a wonderfully weird world of porn with the help of Jerry Stahl (yes, the Alf guy) in the 80s and early 90s.

In fact, he gave the world Jeanna Fine’s greatest performance with PARTY DOLL A GO-GO parts 1 and 2…and she’s worked!

Here, see if this looks like something you’ve never seen in an adult movie before:

Now imagine all that plus some adult hanky panky thrown in for a little extra spice….granted, Party Doll isn’t for everyone…actually, most hardcore porndogs hate it, but then, what the hell do they know about art anyway?

So, if you’re a porn-pro looking for something different or a curious dabbler with the hankering for some surreal naughty fun, I suggest you check out Rinse Dream’s masterpiece: PARTY DOLL A GO-GO sooner than later….you can thank (or hate) me later.