Things I Decided Today

With all the big budget films and movie parodies being cranked out by the adult industry, you’d think someone would pull their head out of their ass (or someone’s ass) and finally make this fucking masterpiece already?!

btilv

realbtilvI know BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE VAGINA already exists as a porno…but there’s no evil magician, mysterious underworld, or kung-fu masters in it!

Just an “..interracial cast of petite cuties love having their tight and tasty little vaginas stretched to the limit by men with big dicks. The only trouble is finding them big enough to satisfy the insatiable appetites of these nymphomaniacs!

In addition to all the straight sex, there could be something for everyone…

Imagine a The Three Storms three-way for the gay and bi-curious audience?

You could even have a Gerontophilia (look it up) scene between David Lo Pan and Gracie Law for the more adventurous!

How about a record setting gang bang alleyway scene with the Wing Kong and a lucky green-eyed Chinese lady?

And don’t even get me started on what could be done with this little feller:

guardian

The possibilities are fucking endless…Seriously, someone make this….sheesh.

*Oh, I’m not sure who made the BTILV poster…but someone did, so, thanks whoever you are!

Girl Homo!

So, you think you like porn? Or maybe you think you hate porn.

You think you’ve seen it all thanks to the interweb. I mean, you sat through 2 Girls 1 Cup without even closing your eyes once, right? You even watched that crazy Mr. Hands video….hopefully, you regret watching Mr. Hands…but, hey, I’m not here to judge you.

I remember when getting your hot little hands on a dirty magazine or a porn video was akin to Sir Percival’s quest to obtain even a glimpse of the Holy Grail. Now a days, any horny 16 year old with a pc can witness the tragicomic events of a sexed up Furry Convention or worse, Japanese porn! What the hell is a teenager…or an adult for that matter…supposed to make of a woman with pixelized genitalia getting it on with a cephalopod while 15 guys in tighty whities gang bang a couch in the background?! Japan, man….2 big bombs…1 little island…*shudder*

The point I’m trying to make is, “What in the hell happened to just watching a regular ol’ pornographic movie?”

“Well, regular porn is just too boring now.”

“I need something different. Something new. Something wild!”

“But I’m not into extreme fisting (isn’t all fisting kind of extreme?) or all the pee and poo today’s interweb porn seems to offer.”

I agree.

Never fear, Mr. Canacorn is here to help! Ever heard of Rinse Dream? He created a a wonderfully weird world of porn with the help of Jerry Stahl (yes, the Alf guy) in the 80s and early 90s.

In fact, he gave the world Jeanna Fine’s greatest performance with PARTY DOLL A GO-GO parts 1 and 2…and she’s worked!

Here, see if this looks like something you’ve never seen in an adult movie before:

Now imagine all that plus some adult hanky panky thrown in for a little extra spice….granted, Party Doll isn’t for everyone…actually, most hardcore porndogs hate it, but then, what the hell do they know about art anyway?

So, if you’re a porn-pro looking for something different or a curious dabbler with the hankering for some surreal naughty fun, I suggest you check out Rinse Dream’s masterpiece: PARTY DOLL A GO-GO sooner than later….you can thank (or hate) me later.