I found this at Paul Sheer dot com:
Who knew how much fun you could have with Obamicon.Me?
Oh, The Wife did.
Okay, here’s the thing…The Wife and I have NOT been watching this season of LOST. Well, we started watching it then there was this whole writer’s strike thing…we got into THE WIRE, BSG, and then Season 4 of BEVERLY HILLS 90210 came out on dvd…
Hold it right there! That’s right, you heard me! We are not watching LOST because we are too busy watching 90210. Don’t act all shocked and judgmental.
First, we are letting the final LOST episodes stack up in our dvr so we can watch them in a big chunk after the season ends…and second, 90210 is one of the greatest shows that has ever been on tee-vee! Yes, I said it..and I fucking mean it, so back off.
Besides, I’ve been kind of cheating with LOST thanks to THE NAKED JUNGLE’S weekly LOST blogs…check ’em out.
Anyway, with all the grief The Wife and I have been getting about 90210 vs. LOST it got us thinking….
Aren’t LOST and 90210 basically the same shows? Seriously…let’s take a look at our cast of characters, shall we?
First up, locations….
THE ISLAND….this is easy….BEVERLY HILLS.
THE HATCH…..THE PEACH PIT
THE BEACH CAMP….WEST BEVERLY HIGH
THE OTHER’S CAMP….THE BEACH HOUSE
Now on to the casts….
(The list is far from complete and maybe even flawed…if you have a better pairing of LOST and 90210 characters, please let me know.)
JACK….BRANDON (smug, self righteous, star)
SAWYER….DYLAN (bad boy to the extreme)
KATE….KELLY (annoying, flawed, love interest)
SAYID….JESSE (torture…pure torture)
CHARLIE….DAVID (punk ass kid)
CLAIRE….DONNA (not the sharpest knife in the drawer)
JULIET….BRENDA (pain in the ass bitch)
LOCKE….STEVE (always up to trouble…and a Mr. Canacorn favorite on both shows)
ANNA LUCIA….VALERIE (just dropping in to cause some trouble)
MICHAEL….MRS. TEASLEY (uh, you know…concerned about kids)
WALT….DESHAUN (okay, it’s hard to find black people on 90210)
SUN….CINDY WALSH (kind of there…no one really cares about your storyline)
JIN….JIM WALSH (see above)
HURLEY….ANDREA (fatty, fatty, 2×4, can’t fit through the kitchen door)
VINCENT….ROCKY II (dogs)
SMOKE MONSTER….EMILY VALENTINE (scary and mysterious)
BEN….NAT (THE MAN, THE MYTH…JOE E. TATA!) (the real stars of the shows)
So, we were stumped on a few characters…give us a break, it’s early and the pot of coffee is only half empty…but you can help! Just comment below and let’s get this list revised and completed!
Alright kids, another Monday means another man worthy of the AWESOMENESS…
Felicia “Snoop” Pearson
(Born May 18, 1980 – Still kickin’)
WHA’….A WOMAN!!!!!! That’s right, Boners….my blog…my rules!
I’m not sure if any of you have heard of THE WIRE…it’s on HBO…well, it was on HBO…the last season just aired not too long ago. WAIT…don’t say anything…We’ve been watching the show on dvd…We haven’t seen the last season yet…no spoilers!
Anyway, Snoop has quickly become a favorite in the Canacorn home. She scares the shit out of us white folks…what with her bizarro Baltimore accent, sleepy eyes, and questionable moral compass. After a few episodes The Wife started to wonder if Snoop wasn’t just the Real Deal. Not just an actress, but someone really from those scary Baltimore streets…
According to my buddy, Wiki….
“Pearson was born premature to two drug-addicted and incarcerated parents and reared in an East Baltimore foster home. Hours old and about 3 pounds, doctors didn’t expect her to live. She was so small she was fed with an eyedropper until she grew stronger. Days went by and she continued to survive, so Snoop was made a ward of the court and reared in an East Baltimore foster home.
While other 12-year-olds were in school, Snoop was learning the drug game. At 14, Snoop was sentenced to 8 years in prison for the second degree murder of Okia Toomer. She said her life turned around at 18, when a man she called Uncle Loney, a local drug dealer who looked out for her and sent her money in prison, was shot and killed. It was he who had given her the nickname “Snoop” because she reminded him of Charlie Brown’s favorite beagle Snoopy in the comic strip Peanuts.
She finished school while behind bars. After earning her GED in prison, Pearson was released in 2000. She landed a local job making car bumpers, she said, but was fired two weeks later after her employer learned she had a prison record.”
Real enough for me.
Stephen King even said this about her:
“…is perhaps the most terrifying female villain to ever appear in a television series.”
(Read his thoughts on The Wire right here!)
Oh, You have to check out this scene from The Wire…don’t worry, there’s no spoilers and if you don’t watch the show I think you’ll still enjoy it.
SNOOP BUYS A NAIL GUN
Get this, she’s even written a book!
So, welcome to the club, Snoop! You are truly MANLY enough to hang with us on Mondays!
*If you noticed, I’ve permanently added “I hate sports” to Man-Up Mondays…just for my buddy Troy. If you love sports (unlike myself) hop on over and peep TROY’S THOUGHTS ON SPORTS…it’s totally all about sports…I can’t stand to even look at it.
Last Tuesday was a bit vanilla…but today is all chocolate, baby.
Before we get to the music….
The Wife and I have been watching THE WIRE lately….yes, it’s as awesome as everyone says…and while all the characters are compelling, there is a Mr. Canacorn favorite. I know you’re pegging me as an Omar Little man, and you’d be right if it wasn’t for Stringer Bell.
Here is where I became a convert: (From Season 1…no spoilers)
The Wife calls String, The Wise Owl…but she has a thing for owls.
Does Stringer look like anyone to you? A musician, maybe? Well, he reminds me of one of my favorite MCs:
ANTONIO HARDY….but you may know him by another name….The King Asiatic Nobody’s Equal….BIG DADDY KANE!
It was hard to choose two videos this Tuesday, so I went with an early hit…
Aint No Half Steppin’
….and what some would call, a later misstep. For the record, I think the following song is fucking romantically genius!
All Of Me (featuring Barry White?!)
Wow..it’s kind of creepy the way Barry’s all hanging around peeping on Big Daddy and his lady friend…but hey, he is the Obi-Wan Kenobi of BLACK TAIL (Uh, that link is soooo NOT SAFE FOR WORK….or for the easily offended…seriously.)