Good Time Gone Bad

star Wai, Grashoppers!

When I heard that Master David was found dead in a hotel in Bangkok, I resisted the urge to post a quickie memorial here at Awesomeness.

The details were just coming out and the early reports suggested suicide…the Thai police hadn’t released the info about the whole rope tied around his neck and genitals yet, but I had a sneaking suspicion that Master David was a victim of a good time gone bad right from the jump.

As more info comes out of Bangkok it seems like I’m probably right….but hey, who knows, maybe it was murder? Foul play is still a bitter pill to swallow when it comes to losing a family member or a friend, but it sure is a whole lot less awkward and embarrassing than some private sex act gone wrong.

Because once you’re the “died jerking off guy“, that’s pretty much all everybody remembers about you and your name ends up tacked onto a Wikipedia page under “Erotic asphyxiation: Accidental death, famous cases“. And who the fuck wants that?

The Wife was totally bummed Master David (maybe) died in an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident…she really felt that he should have “gone out in a blaze of glory“…like in a knife fight with a couple of Thai ladyboys or something just as awesome…

Well, I’ve been keeping my eye on a reputable news source, and they’ve been saying Master David was murdered…by a couple of Thai ladyboys! WTF!?!!

Check it:

GL25Carradine June 9, 2009 David Carradine Killing

“KUNG FU legend David Carradine was murdered! That’s the shocking conclusion of experts who believe evidence found in the actor’s Thailand hotel room – and autopsy secrets – point to the cover-up of a chilling crime. This week GLOBE unravels the mystery the entire world is talking about.”

GL26carradine June 17, 2009 Revealed! Who Killed Carradine

“DAVID Carradine was strangled in his Bangkok hotel room by TWO drag queens! That’s the chilling conclusion of the Kung Fu star’s movie producer, who is ripping the lid off a bizarre murder cover-up plot. It’s all in our blockbuster Special Report about the tragedy that’s shocked the world.”

Damn, Master David, way to keep real! I can only hope to get myself into such awesome shenanigans when I’m in my 70s….seriously, fighting a couple of transsexual kung fu assassins to the death in a fancy hotel in Bangkok is a damn fine way to go!

Having those tranny bitches make it look like an autoerotic fatality is fucking cold blooded…but I’d expect nothing less from a secret sect of Shaolin shemales from the martial-arts underworld!

Bitches, man…bitches!

You can bet I’ll be following this story until the FBI catch those deadly kathoey-saloeys and clear Master David’s name! So, as they say in Thailand, sawatdee! Which pretty much means, Canacorn out! (Why the fuck doesn’t Ryan say that anymore…it has such a douchey charm to it…)

Fetish Fridays! Wha…No Porn?

ARRR! This here grog is good in me gullet!

ARRR! This here grog is good in me gullet!

You heard me! It’s a pornless Fetish Fridays here at Awesomeness this week. (This is a lie…there will be one porn pic at the very end of this post.)

I know, I know, I’m totally killing my 400 plus views a day by leaving out the heaving hooters, the slippery snatches, and the cream filled cocks, but sometimes even I need a break.

But don’t worry too much…you know Canacorn always delivers…

…and today I bring you some Fist-Pumping Rawk-n-Roll For All Three Sexes!”!

Have you heard about a little band from Austin called…wait for it

Tranny plus Danzig, y'all!

Tranny plus Danzig, y'all!

I mean, how could I resist? As soon as a buddy pointed out their flyer to me, I just knew Tranzig deserved a mention on Awesomeness…and FF seemed like the perfect spot for a transgendered Danzig cover band.

Am I right or am I right?

Unfortunately, Tranzig (Jesus, I laugh every time I type it) doesn’t have any videos up…soooooo, I had to find another band somewhat similar to Tranzig that did…you know, just to round out this post.

I can’t just leave y’all with a FF that only has one pic of a flyer and a link to a tranny Danzig MySpace page.

I mean, I already cut out the porn (Once again, this is a lie. Just scroll down to the end of the post for your beloved porn), y’all deserve a little more.

Like…an all gay tribute to Black Flag! They’re called…wait for it

An absolutely FABULOUS tribute to Black Flag!

An absolutely FABULOUS tribute to Black Flag!

Oh man…these boys are too much! They’re even gayer than Black Flag was when Henry Rollins fronted the band!

I’ll let Liberace and Bugger explain:

Nice. Now how about a song?

Now that was awesome!

Okay, okay…I can tell you guys are getting restless…and you’re ready for your promised porn…

Careful what you wish for

Click the pic for a closer look...

Click the pic for a closer look...

See, it’s a panel from some comic where a shemale Elvira has been arrested by a shemale cop for practicing witchcraft. Seems like she cast a spell “morphing” her “beautiful nipples” into “giant cocks“…which is totally illegal under section 13.5 A of the County Witchcraft Provision! And her punishment is a severe “cock fucking” with an UltraQuip 24 in. rubber grip, side handle police batonall the way down to her balls“…wow…really? WTF?

Have a great weekend!

Things I Decided Today…

Link is NSFW!

CHASEY LAIN’S boobs are a hot tranny mess.

Wha’ happened? Seriously, I’ve seen better tits on a tranny.