News Flash!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a brief update on Kenley Collins.

I know, I know, we’re at the end of Pam Grier Week, but this just makes me so happy…

So, if you haven’t heard by now, my most favorite jerk to ever grace my tee vee screen with her giant teeth and retro hair was arrested on Wednesday and charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

And get this…the weapon in question was her fucking cat.

Peep this story from the NEW YORK POST:

“Project Runway” finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today after assaulting her fiance with their cat, authorities said today.

After throwing the feline, a laptop computer, and three apples at Zak Penley, Collins, 26, was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

“It was a miscommunication,” Collins told The Post after getting released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court yesterday morning.

“Fights happen, And that’s that. There is no case.”

According to law enforcement sources, an enraged Collins woke Penley up just after 7 a.m. by hurling their cat in his face. Then she threw her laptop, and as he fell crawled on the floor, slammed a door on his head.

She threw three apples, and doused him with water, before he was able to dial 911.

“You’re lucky, it could have been worse,” Collins told Penley after the blow, according to sources.

Collins and Penley, an artist and musician who penned a song called “CAT?” for her Project Runway finale, were to be married in October.

Nice, huh? What the story neglects to mention is that Zak Penley is a pussy (no pun intended).

One Last Thing, Kenley

I slept well last night.

Oh, Kenley…

After watching last night’s Proj Run, I finally figured out who the delightful Kenley Collins reminds me of.

Years ago I worked with a woman who constantly complained about how she could never keep any friends. Ever since she was a kid, the story always played out the same…Make new friends, spend time with them, then, out of the blue, her friends would drop her like a hot potato! For no reason! It always happened…the same way…every time.

You see, it was her shitty attitude, manipulative behavior, sour disposition, inflated self worth, and her constant badgering and belittling of others that made them unable to remain in a toxic relationship with this poor creature.

So, Kenley, get used to it. Just like my ex-coworker (and ex-friend), it’s happened to you your whole life because you’re the fucking problem.

You’re a jerk…and people generally don’t like jerks.

Oh, good luck at Bryant Park…….jerk.

*Photo from the most awesome PROJECT RUNGAY…check it out…they rule.

Kenley Wonders…

Uh, maybe because you’re a jerk? Just a thought.

Oh, and guess what, Toothy McMolarmouth…you get the 1 SC rating!

Girl, you straight up GNAR GNARS!

Love, Mr. Canacorn