Two For Tuesdays

missp2 Hey lookee here, I actually made it two Tuesdays in a row!

Who’d a thunk it?

Not you, I’m sure…well, let me disappoint you even more with today’s two-fer!

How about some Missing Persons?

Sure, sure, you think you never need to hear “Words” again (you’re wrong) and you think “Walking In LA” is lame (strike two, boner, that song also rules…anyone remember when Traci Lords covered it), so I’ll spare you the hits and serve up a couple of other tracks this Tuesday…

WINDOWS” from Spring Session M

And since EMI has a no embedding policy for their videos just click on the pic of Dale to see today’s second video!

GIVE” of off Rhyme & Reason

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Man, I really had the hots for ol’ Dale Bozzio when I was a kid…imagine if I could have gotten my hands on that issue of Hustler (NSFW) she was in…I’d probably be blind.

Fetish Fridays! NSFW Periodontics Edition

lh Hey boners! What’s shakin’?

Yeah, yeah, I hear that….”Another day another dollar…Time to make the donuts….Blah, blah, fucking blah…

Well hold on there pardnersit’s Friday…and aside from being alright for fighting…it means…oh wait, that’s Saturday…damn…

Uh, anyway…what I’m getting at is, it’s time to break you out of your humdrums and talk about some fetish of some sort! And if you couldn’t tell by the scrumptious picture of Lauren Hutton on the left side of your monitor, today’s topic is teeth!

But not just any type of teeth…oh no, my friends…only the ones with a gap right smack dab in the middle of those big ol’ central incisors is good enough for this Friday!

80616_Heather-Parisi-7-17_122_438loWe’re strictly talking lucky teeth, or as the French like to say, “dents du bonheur“!

I know the topic of diastema is a bit tame compared to some of my past FF entries…but it is one that puts a smile on my face (and by smile, I mean erection..and by face, I mean penis…so what I think I’m trying to say is, “The enlarged and firm state of my penis…is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular and endocrine factors, that is usually, though not exclusively, associated with gap toothed women.

Oh crap…now you’re picturing me and my amazing, incredible, expandable, blood filled erectile tissues….This is getting awkward…Uh…let’s move on…

So anyway, I was reading a review for ONCE BITTEN over at THE HOUSE OF SELF-INDULGENCE the other day (seriously, it’s the best review I’ve ever read for ONCE BITTEN…check it out) and even though Yum-Yum made no mention of it, all I kept thinking about was Ms. Hutton’s delectable diastema!

bella And it got me thinking about some other gap toothed ladies…Brigitte Bardot, Jorja Fox, Anna Paquin, Béatrice Dalle…man, there’s a whole bunch of ’em out there…

And get this…some of ’em even do the pornographies!

It’s true!

Which is kind of fitting…you know, because of the whole Canterbury Talesgap-toothed wife of Bath, middle-aged woman with insatiable lust” rumor that the “firste fyndere of our fair langage” and loveable scamp, Geoffrey Chaucer, started waaay back in the 14th century!

There’s Belladonna, Naudia Nyce, Pepper Foxx, Chase Taylor, and hundreds of other starlets in waiting flashing their gapes and their gaps all over the internets!

naudiaSo wouldn’t it be a great idea to have some sort of specialty fetish website for the appreciation of gap toothed women?

Of course it’s a great idea! So what the fuck, internets?! Where’s my diastema fetish site?!

No matter where I turn, I can find a fetish specific website for just about every sub-genre of porn…everything except this one.

You want clips and pictures of mature, BBW, amateur, hirsute honeys giving blowjobs to tattooed European gentlemen with big cocks that end in Roman Showers?

You got it! The internet provides!

But a guy wants some hot enamel action and he gets nothin’.

chase I guess there’s just not much of a demand for teeth porn….which is kind of sad really…I mean, look at this picture…

What kind of world do we live in that I can’t see this young thing try and fit those two big, bulbous heads on that soft, sensuous, smooth and sturdy 18 inch veined dildo between the contacts of her perfectly spaced maxillary central incisors?

A disappointing world…that’s what kind.

Seriously, internets, I’m gonna’ have to stop this whole Fetish Fridays dance if you can’t deliver the goods…I know we only do this FF thing (almost) once a week, but my feelings of dissatisfaction that follow your constant failures is really starting to take its toll.

So think about it…we’ll talk next Friday.

Canacorn, out!

What Cha’ Watchin’?

Do The Hammerlock, You Turkeynecks!

The Wrestler Who Made Milwaukee Famous, Reggie “The Crusher” Lisowski

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And 60s garage rockers, The Novas, classic tribute:

You know, there really needs to be more wrestlers like The Crusher and more songs about wrestling…

Bev Hills Season 7

Awwww yeah! Season 7, boners!

Awwww yeah! Season 7, boners!

That’s right, The Wife and I just cracked the seal on our season 7 box set of 90210!

And you just know it’s gonna’ be a great season of the classic 90210 when you get …

A bra less Donna in the first episode:

My eyes are up here.

My eyes are up here.

Val‘s gradual transformation into her “hot mom look” by the second:

My eyes are up here.

My eyes are up here.

And this bit of awesomeness:

Baphomet and his Solid Gold dancers!

Baphomet and his Solid Gold dancers!

Cooley Jackson!

Cooley Jackson!

Tony Fields!

Tony Fields!

Darcel Wynne!

Darcel Wynne!

Choreography by Kevin Carlisle!

Choreography by Kevin Carlisle!

Tony and Darcel bring the heat to 90210!

Tony and Darcel bring the heat to 90210!

God, I love this fucking show!

Two For Tuesdays…Sort Of

Every Monday I head on over to The House Of Self-Indulgence to see what music videos Yum-Yum has hand picked to tickle my visual, vestibular, auditory and proprioceptive inputs.

And yesterday there were two songs by two ladies that tickled my pinks and blacks!

First, my pinks:

Listen to a couple more of Renee’s sweet and quirky songs on her MySpace page.

Now, my blacks:

Hey, waddayaknow, Geneva’s got her dark and slutty songs up on her MySpace thingy too!

Wouldn’t it be cool if these two stone foxes were sisters and you were best friends with their brother? I mean, imagine all the boners you would get just being in the same room with one of them, and then imagine all the boners your boners would get if they were in the same room at the same time?!

Christ, I gotta’ take a cold shower…

You Know Why Pam Grier Is Tougher Than You?

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‘Cause she’ll go to your fancy boat party

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Find the meanest bitch there…

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And proceed to beat the shit out of her…

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With a ferocious bitch slap bombardment…

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Doled out in front of all her friends and colleagues…

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And to add insult to injury…

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She’ll finish the fight with a old timey cream pie to the face…

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And make an Batman inspired exit…

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In a dress…and heels.

And that’s why Pam Grier is tougher than you.