Where Does The Time Go?

Have you ever asked yourself, “How in the hell did I just waste a half an hour watching girls fart on YouTube?”

I have.

People Are Strange

Here’s a Canacorn fun fact: I dig Adrienne Barbeau.

She’s been in a whole bunch of movies I like…and well, she seems like a nice lady.

But this guy really has a thing for her! He has put together 8 different videos like this:

WTF, right? He loops scenes of her bouncing, heaving cleavage…pausing, zooming, rewinding…Christ, it’s like I’m watching his brain work while he’s masturbating!

But the real weird thing is the music he picks to accompany her bodacious boobs…

It’s weird right? Or is it just me? I guess I did watch all the videos…even the ones from MAUDE. That’s right, Maude.

Booty Meat

Man, I love me some art…and YouTube is the place for young women artists to truly explore the four basic elements of performance art!

The use of time, space, the performer’s body and a relationship between performer and audience has never been more powerful thanks to artists like jf340763872, Taylorkicious, and Miztreewoman.

In your face, Carolee Schneemann! Take that, Dragon Jane! Give it up, Guerrilla Girls! It’s 2008 and there’s some fresh young talent in the house!

Okay…okay, I’m just kidding. But I do want to talk about a new to me artist, Dennis Knopf. It looks like he has his German fingers in many pies involving the visual arts, but it’s his awesome creation of BOOTYCLIPSE that really caught my eye.

BOOTYCLIPSE is a YouTube channel…and the artist describes it as such:
“Users have powerful tools for publishing and distributing content at their fingertips, and they show us:
Ass. Wiggly, bare, fat, American ass. Regardless wether its motivation emerged from the overload of casting shows, or music videos showing dancing titts in slow-motion; people tend to use YouTube to show what they can do, and boy can them gurls shake dat booty meat. Instead of getting distracted by the hot underaged ass jigglin to crunky beats the viewer can now reflect on the whole format of these home-made booty clips. Naturally the question arises wether the low-brow use of the given tools is what media firms are trying to achieve; or isn’t there a reason why TV is so stupid?”

You see, he removes the booty shaker and leaves the room and the music….Need a visual? I thought so.

About This Video
Gettin my sexy on…

Yes

So, here’s the original Yes.

I have to admit, that I’m fascinated by the creepiness of the whole thing…here’s another:

About This Video
mi a dance yes

pump up her pum pum

You can watch the original here.

It’s all just so depressing…all of it…the original videos and the reimagined ones. But I can’t stop watching them…check out BOOTYCLIPSE and get your art on!

Thanks to SEX & BLOGS for the heads up!

Why do they buy so many damn vowels?

Christ on a bike, was it hard to get my ass on the elliptical this evening! I hemmed and hawed for hours…just dicking around on the interweb: watching that creepy Tom Cruise Scientology video on Defamer, looking up info on David Miscavige, watching old Sesame Street videos on YouTube (oh, Roosevelt Franklin, you crack me up), and adding some new friends to my blogroll. You know, doing anything but exercising.

By the time I pumped myself up into hitting the gym (the garage) it was 6:30pm. Hmmmm, what to watch on the “garage teevee”? Oh snap, Wheel Of Fortune is on! I haven’t watched that show in a ‘coon’s age…What a great way to kill thirty minutes!

Ready for my thoughts while working out?
-Vanna’s looking pretty good…not too many close ups nowadays…what’s the deal with that Chico’s dress?
-Is Pat a dick…he seems kind of nice…I bet he’s a total dick off camera.
-Ha, Ed Grimley…”I must say.” Heh…
-I can almost see down that chick’s blouse when she spins that wheel.
-Kind of food….kind of food…s pp y and s m k rs on ole heat read….what the fuck?
-Why do they buy so many damn vowels?
-Skippy and smuckers on whole wheat bread!
-Oh, bankrupt.
-What the fuck is she going to do in Arizona with her brother?
-Oh, bankrupt again!
-Why are you wasting all your money on vowels?!
-So close…what if she wasn’t wearing a bra?
-You’re practically giving the other players the advantage! Just spin again and solve it already! Another fucking vowel!?

You get the gist. I was screaming about vowels for 25 minutes in my garage today…my neighbors must think I’m insane. Luckily, The Wife is in Dallas, so she didn’t hear me get all spazzy about vowel purchasing.

Oh shiz, speaking of the love of my life, I gotta’ pick her up at the airport!

Here’s a video before I go:

Later, skaters!

fuckin’ river phoenix all over again. R.I.P young blood. you were a natural talent- may you live on through film brotha.

Have you ever hopped on over to YouTube once someone famous dies? You know what you’re thinking, “Man, I can’t believe s/he’s dead. I sure hope someone has made a slide show tribute video celebrating their life.”

And sure enough, no matter if the celebrity has been dead for 2 days or 2 minutes, there are at least 5 different Sexy tributes, RIP Tributes, and/or sexyrestinpeacetribute videos on YouTube. What’s even more mind boggling than the videos are all the comments left by the YouTube community. Are these people really watching all these tribute videos? Why do they feel the need to share their feelings with the other YouTubers? Don’t get me wrong, I love the yowee1234s and FALLENshortys of the world…I mean, if it wasn’t for them, my days would be empty of judgment and scorn.

Which brings me to 25 year old Brad Renfro…found dead…with only 3 tribute videos to celebrate his life. I know, I know, give it time…it takes a while to compile all those pics from the interweb…and picking the perfect song can be such a bitch. Maybe tonight Brad will have just as many tributes as Kevin Dubrow.

Until then, I bring to you :
SexyBrad – A Tribute to Brad Renfro, Rest In Peace

And the comments of course.

yowee1234 (37 minutes ago)
It’s terrible that he died. He was an amazing actor.

timmyblaze (45 minutes ago)
That sucks…I thought he was a good actor.
I hope no foul play was involved when they determined how he died.
RIP

vutineiu (1 hour ago)
He has been my favourite actor for so many years.. But now there’s nothing else to do but crying.
R.I.P
😥

FALLENshortys (2 hours ago)
its got me in shock!..i belong to his fan club
….brad we will miss you a great deal
you were one of the nicest people a person could ever know….

I couldn’t have said it better myself.
R.I.P. bro, 😦