Premio Dardo…Major Award Or Cyber Herpes?

Would you look at that? Looks like me, Mr. Canacorn, is the proud recipient of a Premio Dardo Award! That’s right, my favorite Unkle and Auntie over at Kindertrauma were kind enough to bestow the prestigious P to the D to me (and 4 other awesome bloggers) a few days ago.

Wow…that’s just great…I’m flattered…now…um…what the fuck is it?

Basically, it’s a form of cyber herpe (not to be confused with a space herpe) that us promiscuous bloggers seem to catch by romping all over the damn internet rubbing our cyber junk on every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a blog of their own.

Actually, there’s a better description of The Dart Award over at K-Squared Ramblings if you prefer a little more research and less sarcasm with your explanations….but I’m fond of the whole herpes thing.

Honestly, I am really flattered that the Kindertrauma boys picked me…I mean, if I’m going to catch some sort of cyber herpes from the internet, I can’t think of a nicer couple of guys to get it from.

So, I guess I should make with some viral shedding and recognize 5 other “unique voices and visions on the Web” and “promote fraternization amongst bloggers of all sorts” already.

A-hem…As Mayor of the Altered State of Druggachusetts, I declare these blogs to be…AWESOME!

NUMBER 1: THE NAKED JUNGLE

Make your house a home with the Paul Snider Sex Bench!

It’s the “Official blog” of Gorillanaut.com, so not only do you get links to movie reviews, but you also get posts about invisible raping gorillas, monsters, and Zebedy Colt!

…um, full disclosure here…I’m friends with Bwana and occasionally write a review or two for G’Naut, but that doesn’t mean I love his blog any more than the next four on this here list…

NUMBER 2: CHRIS’S INVINCIBLE SUPER-BLOG

This really captures the whole spirit of this award, don't cha' think?

Oh, The ISB…I can’t say enough good things about Chris’s blog…he’s been accused of hilarity, sarcasm, and straight up mockery of comic books and the comic industry, but it’s his unflinching and undying love of the medium that keeps me coming back on a daily basis. Listen up nerds, if you want more Silver Age references than you can shake a Super-Science Stick at, The ISB is the blog for you! Curious about what to buy at ye olde comic shoppe? The ISB has got you covered with The Week In Ink…you get the best reviews of the latest releases and it always comes with a guaranteed kick in the face!

NUMBER 3: LOVE TRAIN FOR THE TENEBROUS EMPIRE

You'll find a god in every golden cloister And if you're lucky then the god's a she

A gay friend once told me that White guys that are only into Asian chicks are at the last stop on the train to Gay Town…and I couldn’t agree more. But what does that have to do with the Tenebrous One’s blog? Um…uh…they both involve trains? Okay, nothing, but I’ve always wanted to get that out on my blog…anyway…back to The Love Train…

Just who runs this creepy little corner of the internet? Why it’s your tenebrous hostess, Tenebrous Kate! She’s a Libra that’s into Eurotrash movies, long walks through creepy castles, and she’s got a thing for nuns….She’s a member of The League of Tana Tea Drinkers…
and she met a real live Krampus this year! Wow.

Number 4: HOUSE OF SELF-INDULGENCE

Likes taupe

Okay, okay, I know I’ve been sucking the teet of this blog for weeks now, but I just love it so damn much! Yum-Yum‘s taste in everything from movies to music just warms my cold little heart…and thanks to this site I’ve been turned on to Dallas firecracker and Casa Canacorn official Goddess, Mary Cherry! For that alone, I am eternally at Yum-Yum‘s service.

SSSSHHH…Don’t tell The Wife (or Auntie John), but I think I’m totally cyber crushing on Yum-Yum.

Number 5: ZOMBIE VS SHARK

Get yours at http://www.fright-rags.com

You know, sometimes with my busy schedule, I don’t have time to read the T.V. Guide…never mind some blog that’s all, “Blah, blah, blah, fucking blah,” all the live long day. Well that’s why someone with a bigger brain than mine made Tumblr.

Blogs on Tumblr are fun and easy, breezy, beautiful, like some sort of cover girl or whatever. And the Christie Brinkley of Tumblr blogs that I visit just happens to belong to Justin.

This young man has a taste for the finer things in life, like, “photography, zombies, Star Wars, rock n’ roll, cupcakes, Godzilla, ninjas, boobs, and explosions.” I can totally get on board with all of the above. Well done, sir…well done.

Whew…and that’s probably the most link heavy post I ever done did. If you have some free time this week, check out these five awesome bloggers for a walk on the wild side…’cause all the colored girls go, “Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.”

Fetish Fridays! NSFW In 09

Well, it’s a new year here at Awesomeness…and while there might be some changes at your favorite (that’s debatable) time waster, one thing will still be here for your depraved needs.

Fetish Fridays is still going strong!

There's really a site called nun whores? Yep.

And today I bring you a splash of blasphemy to add to your morning cup of moral perversion.

Um, you're doing it wrong?

That’s right, we’re talking nuns…and sex.

Now I was raised Roman Catholic and I’ve seen my fair share of nuns in my life…but none were like Sister Sucks-a-lot over here. But over at Nun Whores they promise to change your mind about how you think about nuns:

“You think they’re usually that dull, modest and docile? You’re wrong as some of those young beings are not strong enough to hold the lecherous inside devil restrained and powerless. That inner passion is strong enough to drive them into the sinful frenzy – naked nuns live their rooms deep at night and gather in the remote place for their orgies! You must see this as the scene is too hot to bear that calm!”

There’s something about that quote from Nun Whores…it almost seems to be written in some sort of code my brain just can’t crack. Seriously, read it again. Weird, huh? Anyway, I bet you’re wondering just how in Hell did I even find out about Nun Whores!

That’s easy, silly…NUNSPLOITATION.NET, duh. And how did I find out about that site? Well, my blog buddy, Tenebrous Kate, just happens to review movies for this wickedly sinful corner of the internet! They’re pretty much the one stop shopping center for all things (and by things, I mean porn) Nun-tastic!

But they don’t just review nun exploitation movies…oh no, my friends, they also cover the woefully(?) small genre of Nunerotica….that’s code for nun porn….you know you want to click it…who’s gonna know? Other than God, I mean.

Japan...2 big bombs, 1 little island.

Still not exactly what you want…never fear, there’s a whole anime section too!

That’s right, creeps, you can also see cutesy cartoon nuns get raped by demons, priests, and even other nuns!

Good times!

Oh, and if you prefer the pictures in your mind instead of the ones on your computer screen, there’s some hot nun fiction in the Convent Library! Here’s a teaser from “Partying with Sister Ann” by Jan:

“Roberta froze and held her breath as she watched. Sister
Ann took her mouth away from the tit and pulled Paula’s skirt
up around her waist. She fished around under the skirt and
found the waistband of Paula’s panties and pulled them down.
Paula had to move her feet long enough for the nun to pull the
panties over her shoes. She watched as the nun put her hooded
head between Paula’s legs. She could not see what the nun was
doing. She could tell by the look on Paula’s face that she was
enjoying what ever she was doing.”

Wow…um…I think I need to say a few Our Fathers and a couple of Hail Marys after today…but first, one last image..it’s small…but it’s a doozy…oh, and there’s a video!

Nuns...double fisting.

You’re going to Hell if you want to watch the double fisting nuns…I’ll save you a seat.

Krampus Comes To Casa Canacorn

Krampus!

A couple of weeks ago the creepy and talented Tenebrous Kate over at The Love Train… hipped me to the AWESOME Saint Nick sidekick, The Krampus!

Well, of course I had to do some “research” and see what this little guy was all about! There are a ton of cool blogs, articles, and images out there on the internet, but my favorite find was Xmas With Krampus!

Why is it so cool? Well, you can buy your very own handmade Krampus!

No way!

Way!

Check it out! Just click on the link above and see the super awesome Krampus plush dolls and ornaments that Baron Exu and Baroness Joni have to offer.

Here’s the little Krampus The Wife bought for our tree:

One foot is regular and one foot is cloven...

Isn’t he handsome? Now our tree is officially awesome for 2008!

Man, I can’t wait until our baby will be old enough to be scared straight* by tales of the Krampus!

*Do yourself a favor and click that shit!

KABOOOOOONG!

I know it’s been a while…I’ll be back, I swear. Until then, watch this cartoon*.

*Thanks to Tenebrous Kate for her constant referencing of El Kabong…I was truly inspired.