News Flash!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a brief update on Kenley Collins.

I know, I know, we’re at the end of Pam Grier Week, but this just makes me so happy…

So, if you haven’t heard by now, my most favorite jerk to ever grace my tee vee screen with her giant teeth and retro hair was arrested on Wednesday and charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

And get this…the weapon in question was her fucking cat.

Peep this story from the NEW YORK POST:

“Project Runway” finalist Kenley Collins was arrested today after assaulting her fiance with their cat, authorities said today.

After throwing the feline, a laptop computer, and three apples at Zak Penley, Collins, 26, was charged with assault and criminal possession of a weapon.

“It was a miscommunication,” Collins told The Post after getting released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court yesterday morning.

“Fights happen, And that’s that. There is no case.”

According to law enforcement sources, an enraged Collins woke Penley up just after 7 a.m. by hurling their cat in his face. Then she threw her laptop, and as he fell crawled on the floor, slammed a door on his head.

She threw three apples, and doused him with water, before he was able to dial 911.

“You’re lucky, it could have been worse,” Collins told Penley after the blow, according to sources.

Collins and Penley, an artist and musician who penned a song called “CAT?” for her Project Runway finale, were to be married in October.

Nice, huh? What the story neglects to mention is that Zak Penley is a pussy (no pun intended).

One Last Thing, Kenley

I slept well last night.

Oh, Kenley…

After watching last night’s Proj Run, I finally figured out who the delightful Kenley Collins reminds me of.

Years ago I worked with a woman who constantly complained about how she could never keep any friends. Ever since she was a kid, the story always played out the same…Make new friends, spend time with them, then, out of the blue, her friends would drop her like a hot potato! For no reason! It always happened…the same way…every time.

You see, it was her shitty attitude, manipulative behavior, sour disposition, inflated self worth, and her constant badgering and belittling of others that made them unable to remain in a toxic relationship with this poor creature.

So, Kenley, get used to it. Just like my ex-coworker (and ex-friend), it’s happened to you your whole life because you’re the fucking problem.

You’re a jerk…and people generally don’t like jerks.

Oh, good luck at Bryant Park…….jerk.

*Photo from the most awesome PROJECT RUNGAY…check it out…they rule.

Kenley Wonders…

Uh, maybe because you’re a jerk? Just a thought.

Oh, and guess what, Toothy McMolarmouth…you get the 1 SC rating!

Girl, you straight up GNAR GNARS!

Love, Mr. Canacorn

Hey Kenley, Get Over Yourself!

The following quote is from an interview with Kenley on Gothamist.

The question was,

“What are some trends you particularly like and don’t like?”

Her answer,

“I don’t like when you see major trends on people over and over again to the point of just played out. For example, the thin head bands that cut across your forehead over your hair. At first, it was “a look” now its just a bad trend. I do like when someone has a look that is there own. No matter what it is.”

Ugh. Like your 50s retro shtick? Talk about a played out bad trend…But more than Kenley’s wannabe Bettie Page meets June Cleaver personal style, it’s her shitty attitude that bugs me the most.

With my very limited experience with “reality teevee”, I’m aware that there is an approximation of reality being beamed into your home thanks to the magic of editing, but after Kenley’s performance last night, I’m fully convinced that she’s a delusional jerk.

For a more detailed review of Kenley and her craptacular personality click on over to The Wife’s blog and to the fabulously bitchy, Project Rungay…I’m sure they’ll be much more eloquent than I in this matter.