Whatevs 08

Picture Unrelated

Over at Lucky Kitty, The Wife posted some of her favorite “whatevers” of 2008 yesterday.

So now that we know what made Momma happy this past year, what about Daddy?

Here’s a quick list of some of my favorite things:

– Seeing my son wave “hello” to me and The Wife during his ultrasound

– Finally getting my goddamned A in Chemistry

– Reading the best Superman comic ever written: All Star Superman

– Joining Netflix

– Watching this:

– Finally owning one of these:

En garde, I'll let you try my Wu-Tang style

Also loves:

– Visiting all the crazy awesome blogs out there on the internet (I’m looking especially at you Kindertrauma)

– Bringing you Fetish Fridays on a semi-regular basis

– Pubic hair’s gradual comeback

– Oh, and porn…and records, vinyl records

It’s a short list, but I think you get a feel for what I was about in 2008…I hope everyone had a great 08 and here’s to a super fine 09!

C-C-Come On Everybody

Jive Bunny 08

Let me get this straight…Girl Talk is getting his dick sucked by everyone in 2008 because of his hipster Jive Bunny routine?

You’ve got to be kidding me…

Look, I’m all about nostalgia and that whole, “Hey, I totally recognize that song the Dj is mashing up with that other song I totally know,” but Girl Talk is the Judson Laipply of music.

Sorry kid, but Matt Dike and The Dust Brothers did it way better in 1989.

Robots And Donuts

The Endless Training

I don’t know about youse guys, but I love robots…and I love donuts!

Thankfully there’s an artist who decided to to put two great tastes that taste great together! His name is Eric Joyner and I think he’s totally boss!

I found out about Mr. Joyner when I stumbled upon his book, ROBOTS & DONUTS at work the other day.

Here’s a brief description from the Dark Horse site:

“In Robots and Donuts Joyner celebrates the era of tin toy robots in a series of whimsical, thoughtful, sometimes tragic but always stunning paintings depicting mechanical men and women in outlandish and impossible settings.”

The painting on the cover of this book caught my eye…check it:

Summertime

And what I found inside blew my mind….enjoy some choice samples:

Frustration

The Final Blow

The Rope

Hey, where’s the donuts?! Oh, right….

The Players

Propellor Head

IO Jima

Check out more of Eric’s stuff at Ruminations from Tin World and buy yourself something pretty at his store!

Submissions Wanted

Check it…The Wife and I have found out we’re having a boy!

I know, I know, pretty cool…but get this: We have successfully agreed on a first name for our little monster and he obviously already has a last name, but we’re stumped on a middle name at the moment.

We are working on a short list though. So far we have a few:

Vincent
Porter
Taylor
Kirby

A decent showing…but I figured I’d turn to my internet friends and ask for some suggestions to help us out. Y’all are all so creative and awesome, I just bet at least one of you has a good one!

Okay, ready? Put on your thinking caps and fill in the blank:

Quinn ______ Canacorn

I’ll have you know, The Wife has shot down the following:

“Kurt Russell” (in quotes of course)
Snake
Plissken
MacReady
Carpenter
Kojak
Rockatansky
Eastwood
Bronson
Sly
Bruno
Brando

Christ, the list goes on for days, but you get the idea….The worst part about all this middle name rigmarole was when she came up with one that I liked even more than Plissken, and then took it back! She said she was only joking….wanna’ hear it?

Quinn Tuscadero Canacorn

Now how bad ass is that? Pretty bad ass…but what do I know?

A Very Penus Christmas

Who's the blockhead now, Lucy?

You know, I’ve never really been a big fan of Charles M. Schulz‘s so-called “psychologically complex” and “indelible” comic strip, Peanuts.

Actually, the comic strip that ran during the 50s does contain some beautiful art and decent writing (not as good as Andy Capp though…heh, Andy Capp…his name’s a pun on handicap…oh, man…)…it’s the Peanuts from the 70s and 80s that I really just didn’t get then and certainly don’t get now.

Oh settle down you fucking jackals! Like that’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard? It’s not like I professed my love for murdering children and raping old ladies! I just never got into some stupid cartoon about some depressed bald kid who had shitty friends and boring adventures.

I mean, really? Why watch that when I could watch something like this?

Did you see that? Savagery, Super-Science, and Sorcery!

Fucking Thundarr rules!

But I digress…Back to that blockhead, Charlie Brown. Maybe I could give Charlie another chance..but only if it wasn’t animated, had porn star, Belladonna, as Lucy, was written and directed by James Gunn, contained some sex, and ended with Charlie Brown systematically slaughtering every last one of these incredibly boring Schulz characters.

Sound too good to be true?

Feast your eyes on this this:

Now that’s what I’m talking about! Thanks, Mr. Gunn, for making this a wonderful Christmas after all!

So True…

via Undead Film Critic

Let Me Ask You This…

Would you like to see some more?

Joy Holiday...Must Love Cats

Ron Holiday...Lookin' Good.

Ron Holiday...Still Lookin' Good.

CAT DANCERS

Seriously, find a way to watch this…

Blood Is Red

5 LP set of Argento soundtracks

I haven’t been blogging about my record purchases lately since I haven’t really been buying any…

But look what rolled into the record store the other day! A 5 LP box set of Dario Argento soundtracks from DAGORED!

Here’s the description:

“Blood Is Red, Dario Argento Ltd Edition Vinyl Box Set

Have a blood red Christmas! the contents of this briefcase may be a nice alternative to the usual Christmas party songs…ring in the new year with Goblin & Morricone and leave Rudolph on the shelf! 5 of the creepiest Dario Argento movie soundtracks on vinyl LP in a limited edition – 250 units – white plastic briefcase with fold-in handle and a blood red serigraphy reproducing Argento fans’ favorite crime scene.

Features:
Il gatto a nove code (RED111) – gatefold 180 gram LP
Quattro mosche di velluto grigio (RED139) – 180 gram LP
Profondo rosso (RED137) – gatefold 180 gram LP
Suspiria (RED127) – gatefold 180 gram LP
Tenebre (RED131) – gatefold 180 gram LP”

Oh yes, my fiends...

Isn’t she lovely? DAGORED put all theses LPs out individually over the years (plus a bunch of others) but it’s nice to have them all together.

Out of the 5, Suspiria is the only soundtrack that I would be repurchasing, so I felt that the $90 and change price tag on this set was worth it…and I do get a discount where I work, so that didn’t hurt either.

5 Lps on brown carpet

When these records originally came out they all included mini-posters, but for some reason the ones in the box set do not…a small complaint, I know, but I do love the extra goodies that usually accompany “limited edition” pressings/packaging of things.

The other odd thing I noticed was the lack of numbering anywhere on the box…if these are indeed limited to only 250 units, where’s the nifty little 100/250 sticker?

Oh well, I’m still super stoked about my early Christmas gift to myself, despite my minor gripes. The 180 gram vinyl warms my nerd heart as well as the gatefold sleeves…and the recordings sound fantastic. Granted, I just have a basic stereo system, but I know what I like…and I like what I hear coming from my speakers today!

Okay, I know you want to hear some music, so click the titles below for some awesome tunes:

Il Gatto A Nove Code: Paranoia Prima

Quattro Mosche Di Velluto Grigio: Come Un Madrigale

Profondo Rosso: Death Dies

Suspiria: Sighs

Tenebre: Flashing

I can’t tell y’all how happy these records make me…jealous much?

Fetish Fridays! Mostly SFW

The nose knows...

Hey kids! We’re back after our week of mourning the loss of pin-up queen, Bettie Page.

Today we’ll explore the weird and wonderful world of the nose fetish!

Like all the other fetishes featured on Fridays here at Awesomeness, this one has quite a few different takes on the subject…and like most of the fetishes featured, this one spirals down into the dark dungeon of submission and humiliation pretty quick like.

But let’s start with the lighter side of nose fetishism…Even though I wasn’t turned on, I was amused while poking around The Big Nose Appreciation Page! This site goes out of it’s way to make sure everyone is treated with respect and the forums are all about enjoying big beautiful noses on lovely ladies…real and computer generated. There is no making fun of people with big noses and certainly NO nose torture allowed (don’t worry, we’ll be getting to that soon enough).

Seriously, it was very refreshing to visit a fetish site that wasn’t demeaning towards women (I said, “don’t worry,” we’re getting to it)…and they have some awesome “morphs” like this one:

Ah-cha-cha-CHA!

Then there’s the truly bizarre (to me) morphs of Pinocchio Girls…or Pinocchias, if you will…

Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

While the above stuff is not really my bag, this whole nose torture fetish is not in the least bit appealing to me…but in the interest of Science and my responsibility as your Friday Fetish Blogger, I feel obliged to share.

I’d like to introduce you to the Bondage Hook…while it can be used on the mouth, butt, or vagina…we’ll be focusing on the nose today.

Nose hook, big in Japan...go figure.

“Kinky-O! Japanese Style BDSM Nose Hooks – Asian Facial Bondage Fetish for Humiliation & Degradation”

“This unique item features a high quality metal hook insert for each nostril attached to a black head strap. Often used in Japanese facial bondage play, the purpose of the nose hook was traditionally to humiliate the slave by pointing the nose upwards, making them look more like a pig. Further, the nose hooks could be used to inflict pain or punishment on a disobedient slave. These nose hooks not only serve to humiliate your slaves, but can be clicked to cruelly force the head back, resulting in very high quality animations as the slave’s mouth is thrown open in painful surprise!” –Xstreet SL Marketplace (Also available: The “Kidnapped! Chloroform Gag”…seriously.)

Hey, wait a minute…These products are for Second Life! What the fuck? Well, you get the gist of it…it’s the same in the real world…humiliation, pain, blah, blah, blah.

I don’t know about you, but I’m kinda’ bummed just thinking about people having to get their Humiliation Play on in Second Life instead of in the real world.

Seriously, that’s depressing…I know what will cheer me up!

One last image related to today’s fetish…this is where things will get NSFW:

I'm surprised I didn't find more of this...

That’s better.

Krampus Comes To Casa Canacorn

Krampus!

A couple of weeks ago the creepy and talented Tenebrous Kate over at The Love Train… hipped me to the AWESOME Saint Nick sidekick, The Krampus!

Well, of course I had to do some “research” and see what this little guy was all about! There are a ton of cool blogs, articles, and images out there on the internet, but my favorite find was Xmas With Krampus!

Why is it so cool? Well, you can buy your very own handmade Krampus!

No way!

Way!

Check it out! Just click on the link above and see the super awesome Krampus plush dolls and ornaments that Baron Exu and Baroness Joni have to offer.

Here’s the little Krampus The Wife bought for our tree:

One foot is regular and one foot is cloven...

Isn’t he handsome? Now our tree is officially awesome for 2008!

Man, I can’t wait until our baby will be old enough to be scared straight* by tales of the Krampus!

*Do yourself a favor and click that shit!