Final Girl Film Club Presents: LIFEFORCE

Well, well, well, look at me, participating in some sort of “big cyber caring circle“…I guess it’s better than playing a round of Ookie Cookie!

This is what’s doin’…Stacie Ponder over at Final Girl has created a film club. We all watch the same movie then post a review or whatever on our blogs or websites on the same day and link over to her site. She does the same and then we all geek out together through the tubes of the internet!

So today, let’s share our thoughts on LIFEFORCE!

Wow…VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE! VAM-PIRE!

I know you’re all excited about Space Vampires, and you should be, but we’re talking Tobe Hooper, not Vorvon, kids.

I haven’t watched LIFEFORCE in over a decade, so I was a little worried how it would hold up. Sure, sure, there’s a hot naked space vampire running around, but was the movie itself any good? Tobe was riding high (on the coattails of Stephen Spielberg) thanks to Poltergiest so I’m sure it wasn’t too hard to secure a three picture deal with Cannon. He somehow managed to fuck his whole career up though…but who knew COCOON was gonna’ be such a big hit and that remaking INVADERS FROM MARS was a stupid idea?

Working from a book by Colin Wilson, Dan O’ Bannon and Don Jakoby came up with a nifty script melding science fiction and horror…Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of vampire movies (especially the whole gay vampire thing Anne Rice forced the horror community into), but the idea of naked space vampires causing a zombie-vampire epidemic across the pond was pretty damn awesome in my opinion. So, as I ramble on about LIFEFORCE you can enjoy some screenshots I took while watching the film.

Hey, my eyes are up here, pal.

Oh, real quick, if you thought you were going to see a naked space vampire here, you can turn back now. Jesus, you’re all the same…just Google “Lifeforce” or “Mathilda May” and you’ll see all the boobs you want, perv. Sheesh…

EEEEWWWWW……1,000s of dead man-bats in the creepy space-vagina.

The cast was pretty strong..we have Steve Railsback….man, what a cool name…Railsback….Railsback…..Railsback…you know, I think that’s going to be my new mantra from now on…anyway, Steve Railsback (Helter Skelter) gives the sweatiest performance this side of Harry Dean Stanton as the tortured hero…Peter Firth (Equus) is the cool as ice, but tough as nails SAS man…Frank Finlay (Count Dracula 1977) is the silver haired doctor looking for life after death…and Patrick Stewart (Excalibur) is the unlucky host for Space Girl, Mathilda May (uh….Lifeforce). Pretty solid, huh? They all do a fine job sweating, shouting, shooting, and well…walking around naked (sorry, nerd-ladies, Mr. Stewart keeps his clothes on) and playing the whole thing super straight.

This is it, kids….that’s the closest you’ll come to seeing space boobs.

The Fx were pleasing to my 35 year old eyes…very old school 80s stuff…Swirling lights, zombie makeup, a head shot, bullet wounds, exploding cars, full body burns, a severed arm (that’s still alive!), cool space floating around zero-g action, and a monstrous man-bat. You know, I can’t tell you how sick I am of all the damn CGI George Lucas and his little toadies have shoved down our throats for the past decade! Way to improve films, guys. What happened to you, Hollywood? Huh? What happened?! For shame, putting all those puppets and midgets out of work…for shame! Lucky for us, Lucas defector, John Dykstra and his team whipped up some computer effects and weren’t afraid to use puppets or real explosions (sorry, no midgets)!

Moisten lips, Angle your head, Close your eyes, Go slow…

I remembered the first half of the film pretty well, but once the Space Girl started jumping into other bodies and then Patrick Stewart showed up, well, it was like watching a whole new movie. Maybe I changed the channel once the nudity slowed down thirteen years ago or got forced into watching Cocoon with my mom, but whatever the reason, I’m glad I watched the whole film this time.

Puppets! I demand more puppets!

There were all sorts of cool ideas in this flick…the giant organic space vampire ship, the “geometric chain reaction” of space vampirism spreading through London, keeping Mathilda naked for 95% of the movie, the old timey sword that comes out of nowhere…did I mention the puppets? Tobe did a fine job directing and I was totally engrossed the entire time. I think LIFEFORCE gets some sort of bad rap, but it was waaaaay better than the snooze-fest that was the first STAR TREK movie and DRACULA 2000 put together. I say give it a chance if you haven’t seen it…but don’t just take my word for it, hop on over to FINAL GIRL and see what everyone else has to say!

Reports of my assimilation have been greatly exaggerated….BLAUGH!

Anyway, this was a fun little experiment…all of us getting together and watching the same movie. I really can’t wait to see what everyone else has written so I can hone my skills for the next Film Club Stacie bestows upon us.

One last image…..

Uh, this just gets a simple, “FUCK YEAH!”

UPDATE, Y’ALL!!! 6/24/2008

Things I learned reading 22 reviews (so far) of LIFEFORCE:

1) A whole bunch of us used the same if not similar screenshots…which is kinda’ cool in a weird uni-mind kinda’ way.

2) Some people don’t dig on Railsback….Railsback…Railsback….I think they’re nuts.

3) This movie was way gayer than I even imagined (gay in a good way)…and I imagine stuff to be pretty damn gay most of the time.

4) There was a naked space girl/vampire in the movie.

5) Tobe Hooper most definitely did not direct Poltergeist.

6) There was some dude from Dr. Who in it….the people who pointed this fact out are indeed Super Nerds!

7) One review was in French…I don’t read French, but I bet it was similar to the rest of the reviews…except Frenchy-er.

RAILSSSSSSSSSBAAAAAAACK RULES, NERDS!!!!!!!